


Right Back to the Beginning

by dredshirtroberts



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Adult Content, Consensual Underage Sex, F/M, I apologize for chapter 8, M/M, Mom!Sokka, Mpreg, Sokka is really anxious a lot, Sokka-centric story, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2018-08-10 15:35:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 38,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7850968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dredshirtroberts/pseuds/dredshirtroberts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sokka was always the meat and sarcasm guy. Now he'll just have to figure out where babies fit in to that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I've been working on it for quite a long time. It starts out steamy but doesn't stay that way (sorry!) and gets dark in places but I'll try and warn you before hand. This is the first chapter and I swear it gets better.

Hot. So, so hot. 

Sokka felt as though his skin was on fire as his gaze locked on the amber eyes above him. Fingertips burned against his dark skin, searing trails of pleasure all the way through to Sokka’s bones, and culminating at the pleasure center between his legs.

His hips rose to meet those fingertips as they brushed along his genitals with tender passion, his own hands gripping onto the shoulder blades of the man atop him. The room was warm with late summer air and warmer with the two teens’ activities.

Even with the burning, searing, fiery heat, Sokka knew he was in no danger from Zuko. Knowing that the last thing the other boy wanted to do was harm Sokka, and thus bring the wrath of the entire rest of the camp — and most especially Katara — down on him, was powerful.

Zuko’s entrance into Sokka’s body was smooth, helped along with lubrication that seemed to have come out of nowhere. The feeling of being so full overwhelmed the water tribe teen, throwing his head back and exposing the column of his neck to the other boy, who leaned in and buried his own face into the dark skin. Zuko’s noises of pleasure were muffled by the juncture of skin between Sokka’s shoulder and neck, while Sokka’s hands found purchase in Zuko’s now long hair. Firm hands gripped Sokka’s hips, holding him still while Zuko rode out the waves of pleasure between the two of them. The pressure on the inner walls of his abdomen gave Sokka such a thrill he saw stars, over and over again.

As quickly and suddenly as it had started, it ended in a rush of ecstatic pleasure and endorphins running through Sokka’s entire body, feeling the other boy shake quietly above him as Sokka’s arms held him close, close, closer than ever before. Their heartbeats slowing from their frantic pace.

When the intensity of both of their orgasms released them, Zuko detangled himself from Sokka’s arms and pulled away almost painfully. Sokka was shocked by the abruptness and the sudden chill of the air on his damp skin, but he understood Zuko. Sokka himself felt the shame immediately upon Zuko’s departure. How could he have let himself get so carried away with the other boy, when he had Suki? The fire bender dressed silently and left with the quietest click from the latch of the door.

Suddenly quite glad he had his own room in the beach house, Sokka covered the bruises and finger-shaped burns on his hips with his clothes and went back to sleep. 

* * *

 

The next week was a blur of hectic planning, panicked worry when Aang went missing,  fear and adrenaline as the comet came blasting through the atmosphere and the war came to its final climax.

Then Ozai was defeated, and the world was finally at peace. Zuko became the new Fire Lord. Sokka and Katara had their dad back for good. Sokka and Suki were embarking on the real start of their relationship — one without war going on in the background.

So if Sokka was exhausted, and his pectoral muscles ached any time he brushed against them the wrong way, he simply shrugged it off. He’d just helped end a  _ war _ . There were going to be some drawbacks to the physical exertion he’d put on his body during the past year, clearly.

And if he was peeing more frequently, well that was easily chalked up to him drinking so much tea at the Jasmine Dragon with everyone else.

Sokka was too busy struggling with the decision about where he was going to be living, now that the war was over. Katara was heading back to the South Pole, to help with the rebuilding efforts, as well as aid in communication between the sister tribes of the Southern and Northern water tribes. Their father was going with her. And Sokka…

Sokka didn’t want to leave Suki behind. He’d already lost one girlfriend, and while Suki probably wouldn’t become the moon anytime soon, he didn’t want to risk her turning into some other celestial body while his back was turned. But Suki was to go back to Kyoshi Island with the Kyoshi Warriors, to train the new members. And that was pretty far from the South Pole. It had taken him and the others a week to fly to Kyoshi from the South Pole — though admittedly there would hopefully be fewer detours now that Aang was a fully realized Avatar and also had been to all the attractions along the way already.

But there was still the celestial body issue that he was concerned about. Maybe girls he liked were cursed to turn into planets. He couldn’t bear that happening to Suki! There was no way he was going to try and convince her to come with him, though. The warriors were her job, and her passion. He couldn’t ask her to give that up for him.

That settled it, then. No matter how homesick he was, and how much he wanted to live in the South Pole and be with his dad again, he would go with Suki to Kyoshi Island and live there with her. The fishing was probably really good anyway, what with the giant koi and the unagi.

So, with that decision made, he approached Suki — who was pleased, and his father and Katara — who were not. Hakoda was mostly just sad that his son didn’t want to come home with him. Katara had other things on her mind.

“Sokka…I’m worried about you. You clearly haven’t been feeling well this week. I’m not sure you should be traveling anywhere without a designated healer coming with you.”

Sokka dismissed her concerns with a wave of his hand, “It’s just a little nausea. It’s because my body got used to all the excitement and isn’t sure what to do without it anymore. I’m  _ fine _ .”

“You won’t eat any of Dad’s blubbered seal jerky.”

Sokka grimaced at the thought, “It…it just smells off is all. I mean, how long has he had that with him? A couple years now, right?”

“Sokka…”

“I mean it, Katara. I’m fine. Stop being such a worry wart!”

She sighed, knowing she wasn’t going to get any farther with Sokka’s incredible logic. “Fine, Sokka. Fine. Dad’s going to be pretty lonely, though.”

“He’s got you, Katara! You need some daughter/dad bonding time anyway. I just…I need to do this for me. It’s not like we won’t ever see each other again!” He smiled at her reassuringly.

She smiled back, a little sadly, “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” They embraced. “I’m still gonna miss you, jerk.” her voice sounded tearful but Sokka decided not to mention it.

“Yeah, yeah. You too, weirdo.” He responded, his throat feeling tight and tears welling up in his eyes. 

They pulled apart, wiping at their eyes and laughing wetly. “You take care, Sokka.” Katara said.

“Of course! I’ll be fine Katara. You’ll be fine too. You take care of Dad and Aang for me.”

“I will.” And with that, Sokka picked up his rucksack and his sleeping bag, and turned away from his sister towards the boat Suki was waiting for him on.

* * *

 

Three days later, on the shores of Kyoshi Island, he really wished he’d listened to his sister a little closer, as he vomited into a bush. He spent a whole year on a flying bison, on various ships, and in air balloons, and hadn’t ever gotten seasick. And now here he was, getting ready to start his new life, and his stomach decided that not only the motion of the ocean didn’t agree with Sokka, but that the smell of the salt water made the nausea worse.

Suki rubbed his back comfortingly as he retched into the underbrush, “I didn’t think you were one to get seasick, Sokka.”

“I’m  _ not. _ ” He whined back pitifully, wiping his mouth with a damp cloth she passed him. The other warriors walked by, giggling because Sokka was once again showing weakness as the only male warrior.

“It’s okay, Sokka. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little seasick.”

He groaned as he stood up, wobbling a little, before walking with Suki back to the village. He wasn’t willing to fight with her on how he never got seasick before. Maybe he’d come down with food poisoning, or some other illness.

Sokka pushed through every bout of nausea, ignoring the tenderness of his chest, and taking naps frequently. With the help of some of the other men in the village, he built himself a small house to live in, and started helping hunt and fish for food for the rest of the village as well as himself. Selling the things he caught in the market earned him money to buy stuff like fruits and vegetables, furniture for his house, and otherwise socialize with the rest of the village as a member of their society.

His pants fit a little tighter than before, but he was sure that was just because he was eating better and more regularly — even though there didn’t seem to be any real weight gain in his stomach that he could tell. The extra money from the prosperous fishing and hunting helped him get new clothes that fit his body a little better. It was all a part of his most recent growth spurt, he was sure.

Then he started feeling worse, with cramps in his lower stomach, and when he spotted blood in his underwear, he figured there was probably something really bad going on. He brought his concerns to Suki when she came over for dinner one night, after his usual afternoon nap.

“You should really talk to Nana. She’ll be able to figure out what’s going on.” Suki said, mentioning the name of the resident doctor, a cranky old lady who honestly frightened Sokka.

“I mean, you’re right. You’re really right, but also if there’s any way I could avoid that?”

“Nope. I’ll call her in for you but you really need to talk to her. This is starting to get really worrying, Sokka. Even though it’s clearly not affecting your appetite.” She gestured to the amount of food surrounding Sokka, which was a lot to be fair. But Sokka hadn’t really put on any weight — well, except for his oddly softened pectoral muscles, which ached a little now that he thought about them.

“Fine. I’ll see Nana. But you get to call her. I’m not making her grumpy with me.”

* * *

 

Suki made good on her word and two days later, Sokka was standing in the middle of his house with Nana poking and prodding at him not exactly tenderly.

“How long have you been feeling ill?”

“About a month now? Maybe a little more.”

“Hmm. And where is the bleeding coming from?”

“Uh…below the belt?”

“Where specifically?” Nana pulled a beat up canvas doll, with little to no features other than a head and limbs, out of thin air, “Point.” 

Sokka pointed towards the junction between the doll’s legs. Nana grumbled and rummaged around in her bag for a second before pulling out a crystal on a string and a piece of paper.

“Hold out your hand.” Sokka did so and she poked him with a needle in one of his fingers. 

“OWch!” He cried, drawing his hand back quickly, but not before she got a drop of blood on her piece of paper.

“Hold it out again, I need you to put your thumb and index finger like this.” She held her own hand out like an L. Sokka reluctantly copied her, though he was beginning to doubt her methods.

She held the crystal over the junction between his fingers and let it swing for a bit, before nodding and putting it away. She looked down at the piece of paper, and then back at Sokka, her eyebrows drawing into an even tighter frown.

“Take off your shirt and lay down.” She gestured towards the couch. Sokka did as told but now he really wasn’t sure where this was going.

He lay there while she pressed on his lower stomach, much gentler than before. It was almost like a massage. Nana hummed and hahed while she did this. Then she gently pressed his chest muscles, which was more than slightly uncomfortable.

Finally she looked at Sokka, “I am going to ask you some very personal questions, and I need you to be as honest as you can. I think I know what is going on but there are some things I need to know first.” Sokka nodded and she continued. “How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“And you’re Water Tribe?”

“Yes.

“Northern or Southern?”

“Southern.”

“Hmm. Any female family members you’ve spent a lot of time with?”

“My mom died when I was nine, it’s just been me and my sister and Gran-gran for a while now. And the other women in the village.”

“Hmm. And your sister, how old is she?”

“Fifteen.”

“Has she begun her bleeding yet?”

“Er, yes, not that long ago.”

“When exactly?”

“Two years I think.”

“And have you begun bleeding?”

“I…what?”

“Have you bled like she does?”

“Well, yeah? Not…not regularly, recently. I figured that was stress because of traveling and change in diet.”

“I see. How long have you been bleeding?”

“Since…since I was thirteen. I know that’s a little early but no one else in the village thought it was an issue.”

“Hmm. And this bleeding you had most recently is unlike the usual bleeding you are used to having?”

“Er…yes? I mean it’s different because it’s not…it wasn’t a lot…and I didn’t think it was supposed to even happen yet. I wasn’t…I didn’t feel anything like I normally would.” 

“Would you please remove your trousers?”

“I…what?!”

“Sokka,” Nana’s tone and face were much gentler than before, “This is important. Please, let me examine you fully so I can give you the best answer possible. I know it’s embarrassing, but it’s the only way.”

Sokka nodded and did as told, removing his trousers, and at Nana’s further encouragement, his underwear as well. She did pass him a sheet to cover himself, but she immediately asked him to raise it just enough so she could look with modesty.

Nana’s only reaction was to raise her eyebrows and then say, “I’m going to physically examine you, is that alright?”

“Uh…” Sokka pulled his knees together, “Do you have to?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Okay.” He closed his eyes and lay stiffly on the ground while Nana began her examination. Nana continued to make thoughtful sounds as she looked Sokka over, feeling around his genitalia and pressing inside gently with just her first two fingers. One hand lay on his stomach as she did this, feeling the wall of his abdomen from both sides. She removed her hands, nodding approvingly and turned to clean herself off.

“Okay, Sokka. Go ahead and get dressed again.” She said washing her hands and then putting her things back in her bag.

“So, what’s up, doc?” Sokka asked, as he hopped to get his leg through his pants.

“Well, first things first, I’m going to have to insist that you do no more heavy lifting, or engage in stressful activities for the next several months. About 8 of them. And probably after that too.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, it’s generally not a good idea for pregnant people to take on undue physical, emotional or mental stress while they’re carrying a baby.”

Sokka nodded, agreeing. Then what she said sank in. “Wait, what?!”

“I’m not going to ask about the father, though it’s clearly not our Suki. You will also want to think of a way to bring this up with her. I imagine she’ll be understanding, though initially probably a little shocked.” Nana carried on, continuing to put away her things and get herself ready to go.

“I’m  _ pregnant? _ ” Sokka asked, his voice cracking. 

“Your breasts are developing nicely. They will likely be tender for a while. If they start hurting more sharply I will insist you come speak with me. The nausea and sickness will likely go away in a month or two. If it persists, or you find it gets worse, or you are having bleeding more than just a few drops, you come directly to me as soon as you can.”

“But-but…I’m pregnant?!?!” Sokka exclaimed, his voice even more shrill than before.

“Yes.”

“Wait… _ what? _ ”

“You’ll be fine. I’ll keep a close eye on you, and once Suki has gotten over the shock, I’m sure she’ll be a wonderful partner and great parent to your child.” Nana bowed, “Please, let me know if you have anything distressing going on but otherwise, I think you should have a fairly normal pregnancy, all things considered.”

“ _ What?? _ ”

And just like that, the doctor was gone and Sokka was left, standing half-dressed in the middle of his house. Pregnant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka tells Suki. It doesn't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp... Here's chapter 2! I hope you're ready for the tale being told here because this is just the beginning. There's a whole bunch more to go.

Sokka paced nervously as he waited for Suki to come over after her patrols. He wrung his hands together as he worried about how he was going to approach this subject with her. How was he going to tell her he had one very brief encounter with a certain firebending prince, now Fire Lord and was now pregnant with that same fire bender’s kid? How was he going to broach the subject of being pregnant? He still didn’t even know how it was possible for a boy to  _ get _ pregnant.

He heard the familiar sound of footsteps in front of the house and he turned and stared at the door anxiously as Suki entered. She smiled at him as she removed her shoes and stretched.

“Ugh, border patrol is so  _ boring _ when there isn’t the constant threat of the ‘Evil Fire Nation.’” She huffed as she leaned in to peck Sokka on the cheek. “How did your visit with Nana go?”

“Uh, well I’m not dying.” Sokka attempted a chuckle, holding her elbows in his palms as he looked at her. “But uh, we need to talk about it. And you’ll probably want to sit down.” He gestured towards a chair nearby.

Suki’s eyebrows knitted together as she looked at Sokka, her mouth pulling into a frown, “Sokka? Is everything okay?”

Sokka’s voice cracked as he replied, “Depends on your definition of okay I guess. Again, not dying.” He pointed out, his weak laughter starting to sound more like choked sobs.

“Sokka, you’re starting to make me worry.”

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Then he started to speak, his voice level and calm. “I guess there’s really no way to say it gently. Suki, I’m pregnant.”

Suki was silent, the corner of her mouth twitching before she started a deep belly laugh, nearly falling over with the force of it. She propped herself on the wall and clutched her stomach. Barking, hysterical laughter bubbled out of her.

When she finally got control of herself, she wiped away tears from her eyes, “Oh geeze, Sokka. You really had me worried there. But seriously, what did Nana say?”

Sokka stood, stony-faced, not appreciating her laughing at him, or her disbelief. Though, he did completely understand and if it wasn’t the truth he probably would have been laughing just as hard as she had been.

“Sokka?”

Sokka couldn’t think how else to phrase it. He was pregnant, with-child, going to have a baby.

“Sokka?”

He was going to be a  _ mom _ . Which was just weird, in and of itself, but on top of that there was the responsibility of bringing a small human being into the world and he was only sixteen. Sure, he could lead warriors into battle and strategize to bring down the most powerful force on the planet outside of his twelve-year-old friend, but a  _ baby? _

“Sokka…you’re not…you’re not serious are you?” Suki’s voice was much more somber now.

Sokka nodded, “I’m serious.” Suki stepped backwards and her knees gave out. She collapsed onto the floor, staring at Sokka in disbelief.  “I told you that you should sit down.” He said, attempting to bring some humor back to the situation.

“But…but  _ how _ ?”

“Well, Suki…when a man and a woman really love each other—“

“Sokka, you’re a  _ boy _ . You can’t get pregnant.”

Sokka looked away, blushing. “I know. I know I’m a boy. I know I’m not supposed to get pregnant. But apparently I did, and Nana said it, and it’s happening and here I am.”

“But… _ how? _ ”

“I have no idea to be completely honest. Nana didn’t explain it. Curmudgeonly old woman.” He scrunched up his face in distaste at the old woman’s curt and abrupt manner. “But here I am…pregnant.”

“Who was it?” Suki glared at him. Her brown eyes were ice cold and something inside of Sokka shriveled up and cowered in the corner as he opened his mouth to reply.

“…Zuko.” Not what he’d been intending to say, and certainly not so bluntly.

The five feet of distance between the two of them suddenly seemed like miles as Suki stared up at Sokka and Sokka stared down at Suki in silence. Seconds dragged out into minutes, the two teens looking at one another in the middle of Sokka’s simple house.

Finally, Suki spoke. “Zu..ko? Like…like  _ our _ Zuko?”

“Do we know any others?” Sokka asked, his throat tight while he fought off tears, a strained laugh forced out of his throat at the ridiculousness of the entire situation.

“But… _ when? _ ”

“It was…late one night at the beach house. We didn’t exactly plan it. He came to my room, we were talking and then all of the sudden it just kind of happened.”

Suki’s face became stony as she glared at Sokka. “And you didn’t think that was important information to share with your  _ girlfriend _ ? That you  _ cheated _ on me?” Sokka hadn’t thought of it that way. Hadn’t thought of it at all since that night, in fact.

Mentioning that was probably not the right move, “You should have told me! I’m your girlfriend and I trusted you! How could you cheat on me? With  _ Zuko _ no less?!”

“I’m sorry, Suki. I don’t know what I could possibly do or say to make it up to you, and I understand if you - if you don’t want to…”

“And now you’re  _ pregnant _ with his  _ baby _ — and that’s a separate issue because how did you get  _ pregnant _ ? Boys don’t get  _ pregnant _ !” Her eyes were wide, and she was looking away from Sokka. She was scared.

Sokka understood. “I know. I’m still figuring that out too. I don’t get it. I don’t know how it’s even possible. And I should have told you. I should have told you everything but it was one time and I just…it happened and he never said anything about it after. It happened and then it was done. I thought that it was just stress from the war and that he needed an outlet. He didn’t have a girlfriend at the time, and I get it. I shouldn’t have let him- let him have sex with me. But it happened, and I’m so sorry I did because it hurt you and now I’m here with- with his kid and I don’t know what to do!”

He took a shaky breath and wiped his face, his fingers coming away wet. He hadn’t even realized he’d started crying.

“I don’t know what to do and I am  _ terrified _ Suki. I’m scared of going through this at all, and doing it alone is the last thing I want. But if you can’t be with me, I understand and I will leave. It’s not fair to you to make you go through this.”

Suki stood, brushing her forehead with her hand and wincing. “Look, Sokka…This is a lot for me to handle right now. Just…I’m going to go. I need to figure out how I feel about all of this, other than furious, and I’ll get back to you.”

Sokka nodded, “Right…right of course. I- I love you Suki.”

“Not right now, Sokka. Not…not right now.” And with that, she closed the door to Sokka’s house and was gone into the late evening.

When the latch clicked behind her, Sokka’s knees gave out and he collapsed on the floor, sobbing like he hadn’t since he was a very small child.

* * *

 

Sokka stopped crying, finally, close to midnight. He stood, wiped his eyes, and went out the door. He had to talk to Nana about this.

He stood outside the woman’s small house and knocked. Sokka’s hands were tucked into his pockets as he thought about what was going on. He shifted his weight back and forth between his feet, trying to ignore the feeling of awkwardness that surrounded him

Maybe it had all been a joke — maybe Nana was just playing a trick on him to see how good of a fit he really was for the village. It was a dirty trick, if so, because it meant losing the one person on the planet who was willing to stick around with him when his family would have gotten sick and tired of him already.

Well, he supposed she wasn’t sticking around anymore…

Nana appeared at the door, her lined face peering up at Sokka through the light of her single candle. “What do you want?”

“I need to…I need to talk to someone and you’re kind of…it right now.” Sokka explained.

Nana squinted her eyes at him with a scowl on her face, examining his face for a minute or two before she finally gave him the gruff invitation inside.

He entered her house, which was surprisingly cozy. Were it not for the lack of furs and skins, he would have assumed he’d just walked into Gran-gran’s tent back in the South Pole.

“Sit. What is it?”

Startled at being addressed so quickly, Sokka stumbled through his response, “I…Suki didn’t really take the news well. I was…I was wondering what- I mean, if you might explain this whole situation to me better, and if there was a way I could make it so she would come back to me…I’d like to take it.”

Nana blinked, her eyes hawkish as she lit some candles around the room to brighten the sitting area.

Silence reigned over the pair before she sighed, “I’m going to need a cup of tea for this one. I’ll make it decaf for you.”

Sokka nodded and stiffly settled himself down onto her floral-print couch. Where did she even get fabric in this hideous pattern? Where did anyone see this fabric and decide “You know what would be great in this pattern? An entire couch to take up a whole room in someone’s house. It’ll be perfect!” It was horrendous. The pink and green and orange flowers had faded into the beige and teal background and it clashed wildly with the blue green and brown interior of Nana’s house.

He accepted the cup of tea Nana handed him a few minutes later, setting it down on the hardwood table in front of him as she settled into a rickety chair across from him.

“Let’s begin.” She said, taking a deep breath and a long draught of her still steaming hot cup of tea.

* * *

 

“I’ll start by putting this simply: the world is not so easily split into men and women, boys and girls. You would think our society would have adapted to the many forms and shapes gender can take, but alas.” Nana sighed, longsufferingly. “In your case, you appear male, act male, were raised as essentially male. However, your genitalia are not so clear cut.” She snorted at her own accidental joke.

“What do you mean, Nana?” Sokka leaned forward, his hands wrapped around his cup, letting the warmth sink into the palms of his hands.

“This is not a simple subject, and as one who has not experienced this from a first-hand account, I cannot speak for on behalf of those cases I have experienced second-hand. But, for ease of explanation, I will mention that you are not the first man to come to me with this problem. Admittedly this is an uncommon occurrence, though certainly not rare. 

“Aika, I think he called himself back then, was much farther along than you when he realized it. He and several others of his village came to me almost 20 years ago. None of the healers in their home could understand what was happening, and he was about halfway through his pregnancy at the time. It was a long journey for them — they were also from the Southern Water Tribe. When I explained the situation, there was confusion and anger.” Her face was pensive, and several of the hard, angry lines melted away as she stared off into her memories.

“I’ve never heard of anyone named Aika from the Southern Water Tribe.” Sokka said quietly, risking breaking the silence for more information from the old doctor.

Nana continued on without acknowledging Sokka’s interruption. “He was startled by the revelation, just as his partner was as well. And, I imagine, the whole group that came with them. The only one who didn’t seem surprised was his own mother. However, once they had a chance to absorb the information, Aika made a decision. Aika chose to change his identity completely, and lived the rest of his life as a woman of his tribe.”

Sokka sat with rapt attention to Nana’s story. “Wow…I never knew.”

“From what I understand, Aika changed her name, went on to have the baby and married her partner. She died in one of the raids and I never heard from anyone of the tribe after that. Until you.”

Nana peered at Sokka, finally shaking herself out of her memories and into the moment. Her eyes were narrow as she examined him. She hummed to herself as he squirmed awkwardly under her hawkish gaze. “And you say your…grandmother was not alarmed when you began bleeding, though you had been raised as a boy?”

“She wasn’t, no. None of the women were. I thought it was natural for boys to…” He gestured inarticulately, making a face.

Nana nodded and the pair sat in silence for a moment, sipping their tea.

“So…okay, so I’m like this Aika guy. But I don’t want to be a girl! Not that there’s anything wrong with being a girl. But that’s not for me!” Sokka said, suddenly. 

“So what do you want to do about this, then?”

“What are the options? What can I do?”

Nana leaned forward, “What do you  _ want _ to do Sokka? What is it that you want?”

Sokka smacked his cup onto the table and threw his hands into the air, “I don’t  _ know _ what I want! I want to be  _ normal _ . I don’t want to be  _ pregnant _ . I want to have Suki back!” He shouted at the old woman.

Nana’s face was grim as she stood and started rummaging about in her cabinets filled with jars and herbs that cluttered the house where there wasn’t busy floral furniture.

She came back with a small brown bottle containing liquid and a stem with many small white flowers in a bulb at the end and several sets of leaves. She set them in the middle of the table and sat back down. Sokka stared at it, waiting for her to explain.

Nana held the flower out, “This is called Dong Quai. It is a flower that grows wild around here. In the bottle is a tincture made from it to stimulate birth. When taken early in the pregnancy, it can cause a miscarriage.” She looked at Sokka sternly. “If you would like to terminate your pregnancy I can instruct you on how to take the tincture.”

Sokka’s face went pale and his eyes boggled, “Wait, what? I never said I wanted to…no no. There will be no _ termination _ going on here.” He stood suddenly, waving his hands around and nearly knocking over the bottle.

Nana’s eyes narrowed and her eyebrows crinkled together like two caterpillars kissing, “You said you didn’t want to be pregnant. I can fix that. Women do it all the time for a multitude of reasons.”

“I meant I’d rather have not  _ gotten _ pregnant. Not that I was looking for a way to…” He placed a hand protectively over his lower tummy. “I’m not…I’m not interested in the tincture, Nana.”

Nana sighed and picked the bottle back up and put it away. “Okay then. So what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know, Nana! I don’t know and it sucks. I want to- I want…” Sokka sighed and sat back down, resting his elbows on his thighs and dropping his head into his hands. His fingers laced through his hair and tugged on a few of the strands. It was getting long. He should think about shaving it soon.

“Your options aren’t ‘be a woman and have a baby’ or ‘get rid of the baby and be a man’ you realize.” She said, leaning back onto her chair and staring at Sokka. He let out a long breath, letting the air whoosh past his lips slowly as he thought about what Nana was telling him.

“But you said…”

“Aika chose to change her name, to live as a woman and have the baby that way. Aika chose not to terminate the pregnancy. These are two separate statements. You can choose to have the baby, raise it as your own, and live as a man.”

Sokka stared down at his boots, blinking as he thought. “I can…I can do both?”

“Admittedly, your appearance will be altered by the pregnancy, and not just in the ways you’re probably already aware of. Your hips will widen to allow for the baby to pass through the birth canal safely. Your breasts will grow, and produce milk. Your hormones will cause feminization of your features. I am as of yet unsure if your appearance will go back to it’s current state without aid. However you should have a healthy child, you will likely be able to return to life as normal without issue, and you should be able to carry on normal relationships with others, as long as you don’t get yourself involved with another boy.”

Sokka sighed.

“And there’s no way you can help me with the Suki issue?”

“I deal with medicine and anatomy. Relationships are not my forte.” She said, gesturing to her house cluttered with more medical things than mementos. 

“Right.”

“I’m sorry Sokka, but you’ll have to figure that one out on your own.”

Sokka sighed, thanked Nana for her advice and went home, wondering if there was anything he could possibly do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka writes a letter and learns very quickly about how small small towns can be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter has stayed pretty much the same since when I originally wrote it almost...geeze 5 years ago now. No...no not quite that long. Less than that. Anyway. I wrote it and it hasn't changed. I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Also thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has been kudos-ing, bookmarking, and commenting. I am eternally terrible at responding to comments but eventually I will do the thing. You all mean so much to me and I'm so glad you've been liking this so far. <3 *all the hugs and love* Okay now back to your regularly scheduled (er...lol) update.

* * *

_ Katara, _

_ I hope you and Dad are doing well. _

_ There’s been a lot going on here. It’s a lot to get into in a single letter and it’s probably a better story in person. You’re likely to get super mad at me. Suki already is. _

_ Anyway, if it’s not too much trouble, would you be able to send Aang and Appa out to Kyoshi Island to pick me up? I need to leave, because I’ve been a complete jerk and I can’t stand hurting Suki any more than I already have. I’ll explain everything on the way back to the South Pole. _

_ I’ll wait for you here. _

_ Sokka. _

* * *

Sokka put down the brush and blew on the wet ink to dry it. It had been a week since he’d found out he was pregnant, and Suki had left him to be on his own. He had struggled with how to handle the situation, hiding himself away in his house. Finally he realized he couldn’t stay if he didn’t have the support of Suki. He would ask Nana for all he would need to tell the healers in the Southern Water Tribe about his situation, and then he would hop on Appa with Katara and Aang and head back home, where people would love him no matter how strange his body happened to be.

He was just about to roll up the letter and place it in Hawkie’s letter-carrier when there was a knock on the door. He patted the bird gently on the head, while the hawk cooed at him softly, the note left on the table. Sokka stood and walked to the door with leaden feet, not in the mood to talk to whoever was visiting him. The mid-morning sun shone brightly through the windows, mocking him as he turned the knob and the door swung open.

In front of him was Suki, dressed in her full uniform and makeup. She was leaning on the doorframe, sweat dripping down her brow and plastering her hair to her face. The girls were supposed to be patrolling the very opposite end of the island from the village, and while it wasn’t as far as Ba Sing Se, it wasn’t a quick trip. And it appeared she — as well as several others of the Kyoshi Warriors — had run all the way from the opposite end of the island to Sokka’s front door.

Ty Lee was one of the three other girls who were standing behind Suki, their hands on their knees and panting hard, while staring at Suki with confused eyebrows. Ty Lee’s melodic voice was asking Suki what was going on, as Sokka answered the door.

As soon as the door was open, Suki’s hand grasped the front of Sokka’s shirt and she leaned into him. He flailed for a second, trying to keep his balance and hold her up as she collapsed into his chest.

“Sokka!” She exclaimed, breathily. “Made up my mind!” She gasped out, leaning against the doorframe and staring up at Sokka with wild eyes. The light reflecting off of them turned them honeyed amber green in color as she blinked at him.

“Uh, oh…kay?” He glanced at her and then back to the other girls.

“Made up my mind!” She repeated, “It’s fine, you’re fine. We’re fine. I’ll help you raise the baby.”

The entire village stood still and quiet, the girls behind Suki suddenly straightening up and giving each other concerned looks.

Sokka responded, after a little while, “Is…what?”

“It’s stupid to be mad. I love you and you shouldn’t be left alone. Not now. Not when you need someone the most. I’m sorry for getting so upset.”

“I…Suki come inside, we can discuss this more privately.” Sokka gave a pointed look to the entire village who had decided to spectate this incredibly personal moment.

Suki glanced around and blushed all the way through her makeup. “Uh, right. Yeah, great idea.” And she hurried inside with Sokka, who closed the door with force, signaling that everyone go away and let them talk things out in peace.

With the door shut, the two of them stood in silence. There was a heavy weight to the air, both of them knowing there was so much to say.

“Sokka…I’m so sorry for leaving you like that.” Suki said, quietly, when the silence was finally broken between them.

“Suki, you have every right to be upset with me. I did cheat on you. I didn’t tell you that I did. I should have said something and I didn’t. And now I have to pay for my mistake. If that means having a baby by myself, I can do that.” Sokka turned away from her and walked back to where his letter sat on the edge of the table. He fingered the corner of the paper gently, feeling the roughness of the parchment, while Hawkie made comforting bird noises at him. 

The messenger hawk had been Sokka’s closest confidant the past few days, the best listening ear Sokka had, and the friendliest face he had seen since Suki had left. And now here he was, having the conversation with Suki he had played out with Hawkie several times over. 

Clearly not going the way he planned in his head, but when did anything ever go according to Sokka’s plans anyway?

“No, Sokka,” Suki said, shaking her head. Her head piece’s decorations jingled delicately as she did so, “While I do have a right be mad, you also have a right to have a supportive partner. And it’s not like Zuko’s going to give up his position as Fire Lord to take care of you while you’re pregnant.”

Sokka blanched, “I wasn’t exactly planning to broadcast that in any way, either. Especially not to him. I’d rather as few people as possible know about it.” 

“Right. Uh, sorry then, about the village.” Suki said, rubbing the back of her neck and grimacing.

“I figured at least some of the village would find out. But if we could keep this on the island that would be great.”

“Right, right. Uh, I’ll…I’ll make sure everyone knows.” Suki said.

“It’s okay! We’ll be quiet!” Came Ty Lee’s voice from outside the door. Suki walked over and opened it to find the whole village gathered around the door.

“Can’t you all mind your own business?” Suki asked.

“Sokka is one of ours now too, you know.” A young mother said, holding her squirming toddler.

“We have a right to know what’s going on with our favorite couple!” The usually cranky old fisherman called out from the back.

“Babies!” Said a little girl from the middle of the crowd.

“I appreciate the support, everyone, but I really need to have this private conversation with Suki  _ alone _ .” He said, coming up behind her. The response from the rest of the village was nice but Sokka still didn’t want them listening to his and Suki’s conversation.

“Oh, right right!” Ty Lee smiled big, “We’ll be quiet!”

“Go away.” Suki said, crossing her arms. The village slowly and reluctantly slunk away and back to what they were doing. Suki and Sokka closed the door again.

Back inside the house silence fell between them. 

“You…don’t have to do this, Suki.”

“I’ll admit, I’m terrified and still kind of angry.” She replied, but she smiled at him, her eyes soft. “But I can’t be anywhere near as afraid as you are. I don’t know how I would handle being pregnant this young. But what better father are they going to have? They need someone strong to lead them into battle. Might as well be me.” Her smile turned into a playful smirk and Sokka rolled his eyes, hiding his extreme relief. A weight felt as if it had been lifted off his shoulders and he relaxed for the first time since the end of the war.

“I love you, Suki.”

“I love you too, Sokka.” They hugged tightly, “Now…let’s go talk to Nana about how to do this.”

Sokka reached for the door and opened it to let Suki out first, and they were greeted by the whole village valiantly attempting to pretend like they weren’t all still huddled outside, cheering loudly as the couple exited the building.

“And I think privacy won’t happen ever again. Just as a side note.” Sokka said, groaning inwardly at the ordeal.

* * *

Over the next two months, Sokka’s pregnancy carried on in the same manner, but now that he had the support of an entire village as well as Suki and the whole squad of Kyoshi Warriors, it was far more bearable. He had regular checkups with Nana, as well as occasional teas with the older lady.

By his fourth checkup with Nana he was no longer having the worst of the symptoms. The tenderness remained in his breasts, which now were undeniable on his chest, and he had occasional stomach cramps, which Nana explained was because of the baby growing in his belly. His stomach now protruded well past the waistband of his old pants, and the local seamstress had created clothes that accommodated his expanded girth.

As he moved across his house, he also felt the shortness of breath that was from the baby having grown to such a size that it compressed his lungs. He settled onto the soft couch that had been ordered and purchased for him after the accidental announcement by the entire group of Kyoshi Warriors. The couch was far too comfortable to have been cheap, and he silently thanked the lot of them as he eased back onto it, carefully swinging his legs onto the cushions so he could lie back against the arm. Sokka’s hands immediately and instinctively came to rest on his rounded belly, and he caressed it gently. 

Nana was predicting that he would give birth towards the end of spring — only a few months away. The snow that had kept Sokka and the rest of Kyoshi Island mostly inside for the past few months was finally beginning to melt. Fresh leaves on trees were starting to bud and birds had begun coming back into the area from their migration north for the winter. 

He absently rubbed the top of his tummy. Again, Sokka contemplated his lack of connection to the life growing quickly inside him.

It wasn’t that he didn’t care for Zuko — he did. They had a rocky start to their friendship, what with the fire bender’s initial plans to kill Sokka, Katara and Aang. But once the guy had learned a little humility and had apologized, Sokka had bonded a little more with Zuko just on the fact that the two of them were the oldest and had been away from home the longest out of the group.

Forming a tentative friendship that grew in their shared experience to Boiling Rock and the whole rescue mission. A friendship that grew stronger as Sokka had shoved back his growing crush on the other boy, focusing ever harder on Suki. And when the night that started this whole baby-thing had happened…everything was gone afterwards.

Not Sokka’s feelings, but the friendship. The bond that had been there. And so Sokka let it be. He pushed everything out of his mind. There was a war to win, after all. 

He would have loved to stay in closer contact with everyone, but rebuilding had to happen first. And now…now he was pregnant anyway and really would rather no one else know.

There was a weird fluttering in Sokka’s stomach, and he gasped at the feeling, his hands reaching around his stomach quickly. The fluttering happened again and he inhaled sharply through his teeth, his eyes going wide as he felt it through the skin of his stomach.

“What the— I need to see Nana.” Sokka struggled to stand quickly, his new girth preventing him from doing so at the speed he would have pre-pregnancy. He waddled to the door and opened it to find Suki reaching for the doorknob.

Something in Sokka’s face must have worried her because the first thing out of her mouth was, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. I need to go see Nana.” He tried to push past Suki but she stopped him and directed him back to the couch. 

“No, you need to sit down and I’ll go get Nana. What’s going on? Tell me what’s happening so I can give her as much information as possible.”

“It was like…a weird feeling in my stomach. It happened— it’s happening again, here!” He snagged her hand and placed it on his belly as he felt the flutter again.

Suki’s eyes widened as she rested her hand on Sokka’s stomach, bringing her other one around to feel it better. She glanced up at Sokka, biting half her lip. “Sokka…I don’t think this is something we need to worry about. I think the baby is…I think it’s  _ kicking _ .”

Sokka’s heart skipped a beat, staring down at his stomach in awe. 

The quiet “ _ Wow _ ” that slipped out of his mouth went completely unnoticed by both Sokka and Suki as they froze, Suki kneeling on the floor, hovering over Sokka’s stomach and Sokka sat on the couch. The flutters from tiny feet kicking about in the warmth of Sokka’s stomach vibrating against their hands as the sun began to set through the windows of the house.

“…We still haven’t talked about names, Sokka.” Suki said quietly, the reverent silence cracking with her voice.

Sokka sat there, staring at her pale fingers entwined with his brown ones, resting over the tan skin of his enlarged stomach. The dark line that had appeared a couple months ago bisecting his tummy vertically contrasted with both sets of hands.

“Which, honestly…that should be all your choice, since you’re carrying it.”

“Suki…I don’t want you to feel—“

“They’ll be mine too. But you’re their mom. Mom’s do the naming.” Suki smiled, a sparkle in her eye.

“Hey! I might be carrying it but I’m the man around here — I get to be ‘Dad’!” Sokka’s voice cracked as he protested.

“Okay, says the ‘man’ who was beat by a whole bunch of girls when we first met.” She stuck her tongue out at Sokka, who responded with a noise of extreme offense.

“You said we weren’t going to mention that anymore!” He whined.

They were interrupted by another light flutter of a kick in Sokka’s stomach and they both looked down at the protruding belly fondly.

As the room slowly grew darker and darker, Sokka finally spoke again, “Hakoda if it’s a boy. After my father. Kanna if it’s a girl, after Gran-gran.”

After several more minutes of silence, Suki stood, her muscles stiff and creaky from having been in the same position for so long. She went around the room and started lighting lamps as Sokka continued to stare at his stomach and contemplate the life living inside of him.

“Are you okay, Sokka?” Suki asked when she’d finished lighting the candles, her hand brushing Sokka’s now long hair away from his forehead. Even the shortest strands hung around his jawline, the longest ones brushing the tops of his shoulders when he let it down. 

“Yeah…I’m fine.” He said, and for the first time in six months, he actually meant it


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter ended too well. Now there's ~drama~ *wiggles fingers emphatically*

It was shortly after the baby had begun kicking that Nana announced an even bigger surprise at his next checkup. 

“Twins?” Sokka’s eyes were wide and his jaw felt as though it were hanging somewhere near his kneecaps. Which was impressive with his stomach sticking out as far as it did.

“Yes. I have been reviewing my results from the regular check ups you’ve had, and it has become apparent that you are likely carrying twins.”

Sokka’s hand came to rest on it’s now automatic place, his stomach. Two babies? He’d only just started getting used to the idea of one.

“I was unsure, and also had figured it would be impossible considering your age, and that you have had no previous pregnancies. Twins are always more likely in older women and those who have had children before. However after reviewing the results extensively I have come to the conclusion that there is no other diagnosis.” She pursed her lips, but had kind eyes as she continued, “Twins tend to come earlier, which pushes up your due date by a couple weeks.”

Sokka glanced down at his stomach. That did make a lot of sense, considering the level of activity he’d been feeling from the life inside his tummy. As if heralded by his thoughts, the baby — babies! — kicked again.

Right on his bladder. “Oof… uh, this is interesting news Nana but the baby, er, babies demand I take a bathroom break. I’ll be right back.”

He rushed off as quickly as he could, his steps heavy and waddling, like a turtle-duck. He got to the bathroom and untied his pants, squatting over the bowl. As he relieved himself he stared at the wall, contemplating the news Nana had brought them.

Two babies? At the same time? How could he and Suki handle it?

What if Suki decided she couldn’t handle it and left him? What if she realized this was too much, that raising someone else’s babies would be more than she could handle? The evidence of Sokka’s infidelity a double reminder living in her house — her providing and protecting them — could push her away. And this time she might not come back.

Sokka fought off a wave of panic as he pulled his pants back up. He washed his hands then went back to where Nana was.

“Sokka,” Nana addressed him as he came back into the room, “I also wanted to discuss several important issues that will come up with this new development. Delivery of one baby is dangerous enough as it is. Two can be deadly for both mother and babies. If you were to go into premature labor, which is likely, and I were not able to get to you in time, there could be grave consequences.”

Sokka nodded, “That makes sense.” Though the spike of fear that shot through his entire body caused his voice to shake, he did understand.

“You should have someone with you at all times. I would have you stay here with me, so I have access to all of my medicines in case you require it. I’ll teach you some of my practice so you’re not a useless pregnant lump on my couch.” She gestured to where he was sitting now. He blushed, turning the same color as the closest rose on the gaudy piece of furniture.  “The second issue at hand is what you will tell your friends you have been keeping in the dark. Thankfully the end of the war has been busy for all, and the snows on Kyoshi Island this winter were deep and foreboding to any passers by, but there will be some explaining to be done about why you and Suki are now caring for an infant or two.”

“I actually was thinking we could say they are refugee children who we found? Suki and I decided to take them in because…of a reason and now they’re ours?” Sokka said, “I’ve already spoken to Suki about this and that’s kind of the consensus we got to.” Nana nodded.

“That’s a fine explanation.”

Sokka sighed, “Two?”

Nana smiled and nodded, her heavily wrinkled face creasing farther as she did so, “Yes, Sokka. Two. Don’t worry, plenty of people have gone through this before. You should be fine.”

* * *

 

Sokka came into his house, kicking off his shoes, to find Suki already inside and making dinner.

“Hey, sweetie.” She said from where she stood, stirring something in a hot wok. “You get yourself settled in. Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Suki, we need to talk about the baby.” Suki looked around the corner, smiling at him as he settled onto the couch. He groaned as he settled himself into the soft cushioning and took the weight off his ankles and lower back. 

“What about it?” Something started steaming in the kitchen and she excused herself to go take care of it.

Finally she came back with two bowls of hot rice, mixed vegetables, and seasoned chicken in a sweet and salty sauce. She the bowls in front of them both, and took a seat across from him at the table. He settled down onto the pillows at the table, wincing at the strain on his joints. He was too young for this nonsense.

“So what’s up with the baby? Nana seemed to be in a good mood when I saw you with her earlier. I can’t imagine it’s too bad.”

“Well…” Sokka agonized over how to bring this up. How did you tell your partner who had been anything but enthusiastic over the concept of having a child that wasn’t theirs, that instead of just one kid it would be two? “Uh, first of all, Nana has asked that I come stay with her for the remainder of my pregnancy.”

Suki’s mouth was full of food as she looked up, her eyebrows quirked and knitted together. 

“Uh, the reason for this is because she wants to teach me about her trade. And there’s a potential for…complications. And early labor.”

Suki swallowed her food quickly, wincing as it went down the wrong way briefly. “Why? You’ve been given a clean bill of health so far. Childbirth is dangerous, yes, but most women get to stay at home during the entirety of their pregnancy.”

“Well…it turns out that Nana believes I’m pregnant with…with twins.” Sokka held his breath as he let this news sink in for Suki.

There was reigning silence while Suki finished chewing, set her bowl and utensils down, and sat for a moment, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly.

“Oh.” She said softly, quietly, almost inaudibly. Sokka stared at his own partially eaten meal, his stomach rolling on itself in a way completely unrelated to its current occupants.

“…I…” He started, not really sure what he was going to say in order to make this situation better, when Suki finally spoke.

“Well, shit.” She said, simply, biting her upper lip. “I…I have news too.”

Sokka blinked.

“It’s…it’s why I made us a nice dinner.” Suki’s voice was so quiet if there had been any other sounds in the house or in the village, Sokka might not have heard her. “I…I was offered a position, with several of the other girls, to be the personal guard of Firelord Zuko in the Fire Nation.” Sokka’s breath caught in his chest, and he swallowed thickly.

“What?”

“We don’t leave until midsummer, but…but I can’t  _ not _ do it. I’ve been asked for specifically, and to handpick my best ladies.”

Sokka’s breathing picked up pace minutely, his heart pounding. 

“I’ll be here for immediately after the birth. And you should be okay raising the baby on your own after I’m gone. And I’d still be able to visit.” She said quickly, not looking at Sokka.

Sokka fought the push of tears behind his eyes and in his throat. 

“But…”

“Someone tried to assassinate Zuko. He’s the Fire Nation’s best hope for peace with the rest of the world, regardless of whether or not he’s a humorless jerk. I can’t just let him be killed.”

Sokka agreed.

“Plus, he’s the father of the baby, so I gotta make sure he gets a chance to meet them one day, despite not knowing they’re his.”

“I wasn’t…I pushed back the date for our arrival in the Fire Nation as far as I could. Because I want to make sure you’ll be taken care of while I’m gone. Because I want to make sure the baby is taken care of.”

“Babies,” Sokka corrected, his voice soft and with too much forced humor. He mostly  just wanted to cry but he’d done enough of that the first few months of his pregnancy. He didn’t need to do any more of it. 

“Right…And you’ll be able to come back, right?”

“Occasionally. Likely with our dear friend in tow.” She smirked a little.

“Yeah.” Sokka tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice, but did not succeed in keeping it off his face.

“Plus, once the babies are born and strong enough, you can come visit and we’ll let everyone know about the…story then. Shoot, you can say you found them and decided to take them in and surprise me!” Suki was trying so hard to make this sound good, and Sokka knew that she had little choice in the matter.

“You’re right, Suki. This is going to work out fine. And we’ll still get to spend time together, and you’ll still get to help raise the kids and it will be fine.” Sokka said, attempting to convince himself.

“Right. And you’ll be with Nana most of the time anyway, I’m sure. You said she was going to train you in medicine?”

“Yeah…” Sokka continued the conversation without much enthusiasm, but trying to be supportive and normal for Suki. She was trying hard to make all the news that had just been communicated easy for Sokka to take.

He cleaned up as she continued telling him about her day and the plans for the Kyoshi Warriors, taking his half-eaten bowl and placing it in the cool cupboard to eat later. He washed the dishes, tidied the kitchen, swept the front door, and tried hard not to think about what Suki was talking about too much.

When she left, she gave Sokka a peck on the cheek and looked at him sadly. “It’s going to be okay, Sokka. We’ll figure it out.”

As the door shut, Sokka found he was unable to hold back his tears anymore. He covered his face and sobbed harshly into his hand as he collapsed against the door, holding himself up with one arm. He kept himself quiet until he knew she was far from the door, and then went through the house, turning out the lamps and standing in the darkness of the place he had built with his own two hands.

"Why me?" Sokka sobbed into the dark, "Why is this happening to me? Why am I pregnant, why is it twins, why can’t Suki stay? It's not fair!" His voice was hoarse and he coughed against the tears in his throat. Sokka’s face contorted into a combination of a sneer and a grimace of pain as his fury poured down his face in wet streams. "It's not fair and I don't know why this is happening! What did I ever do to the universe to make it hate me so much?"

There was no answer in the darkness of his house, lit only by the light of the waxing moon outside. He fell to his knees and slammed his fists into the floor of his house, the pain in his fists overshadowed by the pain in his heart as he thought about his whole life and everything he had been through up to this point.

“She’s  _ running away _ . She’s going to be in the  _ Fire Nation _ making sure Zuko doesn't get  _ assassinated _ ." Sokka sobbed, his anger turning to grief, "And I'm going to be alone and have two babies and I didn't even want this to happen. I didn't want any of this to happen!"

He crumpled to the ground, face in his hands as he took in a shaky breath, still hiccuping through the tears. His breath was sharp and he coughed and sobbed still.

“It’s not  _ fair _ .” He whispered, leaning over onto his side and laying on the floor, his hand resting on his belly and his hair falling over his face. He stared into the darkness, on the floor, blinking as tears slid from his eyes silently, without the passion of before. This was what the world had given him and it  _ sucked _ .


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka is Awkward with a capital Awkward. Also, they are never-ever-ever-ever getting back together (oooh-oh-oh-ohh-oohhh). But like for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter. Don't worry, they get longer I promise. I don't know if it's a good thing or not but they do.

Things between Suki and Sokka were tense. Suki seemed afraid to bring up anything relating to her leaving Kyoshi Island, and Sokka didn’t want to discuss the babies she wouldn’t be around to help raise. 

He’d moved into Nana’s house, and was quickly learning the herbs of the island and beyond and how they helped heal, harm, and comfort the people they were given to. Some he wasn’t allowed to touch because even being within breathing radius of the plant could be harmful to the babies. Some he was allowed to taste test so he knew how gross they were, but then Nana would tell him that it was good for cramps, swelling, nausea, or other ailments he knew all too well. 

He caught onto the knowledge she bestowed upon him almost as quickly as he’d picked up proper sword fighting from Piandao back in the Fire Nation, and he kept himself as busy as his pregnancy would allow him to be. 

It was quite the sight to see, him waddling along behind Nana, heavily pregnant and carrying a basket of flowers. His hair was braided behind his shoulders because it had grown too long and got in the way during poultice, potion, and tincture-making practice. And to think, only a few months ago he’d been having regular manliness-competitions with the village men.

He and Suki really didn’t hang out much, now that Sokka was busy with his new job around town, and Suki was preparing the girls for her eventual departure from the island. In fact, they didn’t spend any time around one another until very near the end of Sokka’s pregnancy. Nana was predicting he only had a few weeks, tops, before the babies came — and she was quite sure it was twins now. Sokka was in the market, shopping for himself and Nana, when he ran into Suki. She was out of uniform, and doing her own errands. 

“Hey!” She said, smiling at him hesitantly. Sokka returned his own shy smile. He wondered what he looked like to her now. He was clearly no longer masculine in appearance, and his giant tummy definitely did not belong on a man. 

“Hey.” He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She was beautiful as ever, her clear skin lightly tanned in the mid-spring sunshine, and her brown eyes glittering with flecks of gold and green. She wore simple brown and green clothing that was clearly well made; Sokka could see the touches that the village seamstress had done specifically for Suki.

“How is everything?”

“Fine…we’re fine.” Sokka shrugged, “How about you?”

“Doing good. The girls who are coming with me are getting antsy about leaving. Ty Lee is anxious to get back to the Fire Nation, and see her friends again.” Suki laughed a little.

“Good. You’re taking Ty Lee, then? I guess I should have figured.” Sokka said, picking up some fruit. Nana liked fruit for breakfast and they’d been running low since Sokka decided that the berries she preferred were his new favorite late-night snack.

“Yeah. She’s been doing well here though. I think we’ll make an Earth Kingdom girl out of her yet.” Sokka laughed at Suki’s gentle jibe at their friend. 

Sokka paid for his groceries and Suki did the same, the man at the booth grinning at both of them and looking at Sokka’s stomach with knowing glances. Sokka blushed and looked away, thanking the man for his services to the community and then walking off, Suki following behind.

They walked in silence, following the path they’d walked for months now, heading back to Sokka’s home.

He looked up when they got to the door, “Oh. Whoops, I’m…I need to go back to Nana’s house…” He laughed, his voice tight.

“I’ll walk you there.” Suki offered, turning with him towards the doctor’s house.

“I…you don’t have to.” Sokka said, his voice soft.

“I want to, Sokka.”

They continued their trek towards Nana’s house, not far from Sokka’s. They reached the door and Suki grabbed Sokka’s elbow before he went inside.

“I’m sorry. For whatever I did to make you upset at me.” She said, quickly. “I don’t know what it was, but you won’t talk to me and I miss you, Sokka.” Tears were welling in her eyes as she looked at him. He turned his gaze away from her.

“You didn’t do anything, Suki. I’m…I should apologize. I didn’t realize…”

“Why are you hiding from me? Why won’t you talk to me?”

“I just…I don’t know. I figured you didn’t…you stopped coming around, I figured you were busy.” Sokka avoided the actual reason he’d been running from Suki. 

“No, really Sokka. Do you think I’m that stupid?” Suki’s hands went beside her head in her exasperation, “I was giving you space. You were clearly unhappy with me but I don’t know what I did.” Her hands dropped to her sides. “Whatever I’ve done to make you upset, I’m sorry, but you have to tell me what it was so I can make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Her voice was soft and broken. Sokka closed his eyes against her tearful expression, gripping the basket in his hands tightly. “Sokka…please.” She begged.

Sokka hated everything right then. Hated the universe, hated the world, hated the war and that it had ended. Hated that he’d been introduced to two of the strongest women he’d ever known and he risked losing both of them to things outside of his control. He risked losing them to their own strong personalities and choices they made. He risked losing Suki over a choice he’d made and couldn’t back out of now even if he’d wanted to. He hated himself and what he’d put her through. And most of all, he hated Yue for sparking the fire of love inside him that he hadn’t been able to quench since he’d met her. It seemed he could fall for anyone given enough incentive. He’d fallen for a girl who had turned into the moon. He’d fallen for a girl stronger than Sokka could ever hope to be. He’d fallen for Zuko of all people. And none of it was worth any of the pain and heartbreak he’d been through ever since.

It was the least he could do to keep his distance from Suki and keep her from hurting like he’d been made to.

“I’m sorry, Suki.” He said, grabbing the door handle and letting himself inside Nana’s house and closing the door behind him.

He sighed as he heard her screech outside the door in indignation that he’d just left her out there. He leaned up against the door, his eyes closed and the basked held in front of him like it would protect him from his own emotions.

He opened his eyes and jumped so hard half the groceries fell out of the basket and onto the floor. Nana stood there, her face covered in green goo as she scowled at him, her eyes dark and her lined face more deeply creased than he’d ever seen it. He was pretty sure the green goo was supposed to  _ stop _ the wrinkles.

“If you’re not going to stay with the girl, give her the decency of an explanation as to why.” She said, her voice froggy with sleep, snatching the basket of what was left of the groceries out of Sokka’s hands. He flailed, trying to catch the second half of groceries as they attempted to exit the basket to join the first half on the ground. “Leave it.” Nana growled, opening the door and shoving Sokka back out and right into Suki’s face.

“Damn it, Sokka! What the hell was that?” Suki shouted as she caught him around the shoulders, making sure he didn’t fall and harm himself or the babies.

“Uh…Sorry. I…” He steadied himself and scratched the back of his neck, starting to sweat as the heat of the day began to set in now that spring was finally in the air. “Uh…can I blame hormones, cause I’m going to anyway.” Suki scowled at Sokka. He figured he should do something quickly in order to keep from receiving any more looks like that from the women in his life. He briefly wondered if Katara was on her way to the island to give him an equally disparaging look. “Suki…I’ve been stupid.”

“Obviously.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“More so than usual!” He attempted to defend himself and then realized how idiotic it sounded. “No, wait…what I mean is…I’m terrified.” He admitted, quietly, bowing his head and staring down at his feet — or attempting to. His stomach blocked the view and he rubbed a hand across it tenderly to try and soothe himself. “I never anticipated any of this happening. Clearly.” He said, the attempt at sarcasm doing nothing to lighten the mood. “I was a boy. And then all of the sudden not only was I not a boy, I’m also not a girl, and I’m  _ pregnant _ Suki. I’m pregnant, and now it’s  _ twins _ . And you’re going to leave and…I can’t lose another person. Not again. Not now. So I…I was trying to let you go before you left me.”

He took a deep, shaky breath and bit his lower lip to keep from saying anything else.

“Sokka…” Suki said, reaching for him, but he pulled away.

“I can’t…have both, Suki. I can’t have the babies and have you. And I think I always knew this. Right when we first found out, and you left me for a week. I knew you weren’t going to stay with me forever. And while I am so glad you were here for me throughout this process…I don’t think it’s meant to be. Not right now, anyway. Maybe it was good during the war, and maybe it could have lasted if I hadn’t been an idiot and gotten…gotten pregnant. But it can’t happen. And I’m so sorry I led you on like that, because I know it hurts. It hurts so much to love someone as much as we loved each other and have that person pull away from you. Trust me, I know.” He laughed, thinking of Yue with her icy blue eyes, her snow-white hair, and her dark skin that blushed when he complimented her. “And…I think I’m not allowed to love anyone and keep them around. I’ve lost so many people, Suki. And I have to let you go too. And I’m not doing this to myself anymore.”

“Do I get a say in this at all?” Suki interrupted, her voice hard and tight. 

“What would you say? That you’ll be there for me through thick and thin while you’re in the Fire Nation and I’m here on Kyoshi Island raising two children that aren’t even yours? That you’ll be able to look me in the eyes when you come back and respect me, after you know the man I slept with and his habits and moods? I know what I did, and I don’t deserve your love, your attention, or your time, what little of it I have left.”

Suki snarled at him, “Fine! Fine, you don’t want me, fine! Live here, by yourself with the cranky old lady, on this tiny island and leave yourself no opportunity! Ignore everyone who loves you and hide away from anyone who could support you. I’m sure you’ll be just  _ fine _ .” Her hands flailed wildly in her anger and Sokka wondered if she would hit him. She didn’t, but she did turn away on her heel and stomp off, through the crowd of villagers who had gathered around to watch the Island’s favorite couple fight. Sokka couldn’t deny the aching hole in his chest where his heart used to live, nor the prickly stares he could feel on his skin as the village waited for his reaction.

He turned around, opened the door and went back inside.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's baby-time! Warning: vivid and realistic depiction of birth pre-hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying something where I have longer chapters. We'll see how it goes.
> 
> Note on the warning: I did a lot of research on this and wanted to make sure it was as realistic as possible, so of course I probably added too much detail on it. If that squicks you out, I'd recommend skimming over it until you find italic text cause that's when you're safe. You're not missing much and I won't be offended :)

Nana had taken offense with Suki calling her a cranky old lady and refused to help treat any minor injuries the Kyoshi Warriors incurred on their benign patrols until several of the warriors, lead by Ty Lee specifically, came and apologized for their leader’s insult. Though the hurt was soothed, Nana still did not treat Suki for anything minor unless someone else came under the guise of needing the salve, potion or other treatment. If they couldn’t effectively trick Nana into believing another of the warriors needed it, Sokka would meet them later and pass them the necessary treatment, or ingredients for a treatment with clear instructions on how to fix the problem. Suki was no more fond of Sokka because of this, which was just fine for Sokka. He didn’t deserve her friendship anymore. Not after all he had said to her, after what she had done for him over the months.

This continued on well into springtime. Near the equinox, Sokka was helping crush some herbs in the mortar for Nana when he felt his stomach tighten, a mild ache starting in his lower back, and increasing to a stab as he stood there. He breathed through it, willing his stomach to relax. Nana came by shortly afterwards and saw the look on his face as he worked his way through the end.

“I see it’s begun. Keep working and let me know when it gets unbearable.”

“What?” Sokka asked, but the old woman had wandered off again, taking his powdered herbs with her and leaving another large pile of dried flowers and stems for him to grind up. He shrugged and went back to work. He hadn’t felt anything like that in almost a year, the last time he’d bled.

He felt the same tightening and pain several more times and continued working while they occurred. Then, when he was in the bathroom relieving himself, he felt the sudden gush from between his legs. Panicking, he called out to Nana.

“What is it? Do your contractions hurt more?”

“What? No, I think I just...Something... _ waterfall _ .” He stammered, waving his hands wildly with his pants around his ankles.

“Ah...Okay then.” Nana nodded, checking the time using the clock on the wall and frowning. “Well, wipe up, go change into a long tunic and lay down in your bedroom. I need to do a quick examination.”

Minutes later Sokka was laying back on his bed with his legs spread. His eyes were closed as Nana peered at his genitals. “Hmm. You’re much farther along than I anticipated at this point. I’ll call in the cavalry.” She stepped out of the room and Sokka closed his legs as best he could. However another contraction hit as he lay there and he steeled himself and breathed deeply as the stiffness became pain.

Before he knew it he was being helped up, his eyes closed in reaction to the contraction, and led to another room. He was seated on a cushioned stool low to the ground. He leaned back as the contraction ended, exhaling deeply as he came into contact with something soft.

“That’s it, Sokka. Just lean back.” Chun-mei, one of the ladies of the village that had taken a shine to Sokka over the past few months, wrapped Sokka into her arms. She was soft and forgiving, and Sokka lay back against her, his head on her shoulder. She smelled of plum blossoms and sea salt, and Sokka’s whole body relaxed. He looked around the room. Two other women and Nana were bustling around him, gathering towels, cloths, and water in large bowls. He recognized them as two young mothers who would visit Nana and Sokka for tea occasionally, Lili and Hanna. They smiled at him as they moved around the stool he was seated on.

“That’s it, Sokka. Just use Chun-mei as a brace. If you feel another contraction, please try to breathe through it. We’re not yet ready for you to be pushing. Try as hard as you can to resist.” Nana said as she came over and looked at his face, taking his temperature with the back of her hand, and placing her fingers on his wrist to check his pulse. “Chun-mei can help you pace your breathing if you need the help. She’s my best breather, and she’s gone through four pregnancies of her own and regularly helps me with other women.”

Sokka nodded, biting his lip as he willed himself not to panic. It was happening. The moment he had both feared and looked forward to for the past nine months. And while the room was full of women he cared about and trusted, he felt more alone than he had in his entire life.

It was an excruciating period of pain and breathing, water and towels being passed around, pushing and collapsing back against Chun-mei who held him steady and safe in her large arms. The softness of her body was the best thing Sokka had felt in a long time as he fell back against her once again after a long push.

“Here we go Sokka. You’re doing very well. I can see the head of one of the babies now.” He was leaned backwards, his hips dangling off the stool as Nana kneeled between his legs. He felt almost numb from the pain, his back and hips protesting the exertion and strain he was putting on them.

As he prepared to push again, Lili and Hanna moved to either side of Nana at her signal. Each one took one of Sokka’s hands and braced his feet on their knees. He pulled against their combined strength, and pressed his feet into their thighs as he pushed with all his might, straining with a terrible cry as the contraction ripped through him, Chun-mei rubbing his belly and gently massaging downwards. Nana encouraged him to keep pushing through the entire contraction and it was almost as if a dam had burst as the first baby fell from him into Nana’s waiting arms.

“Okay, Sokka. Just breathe and relax. You did very well.” Nana said, as Lili and Hanna released Sokka’s hands and Lili reached over for a sterile pair of scissors that Nana used to cut the umbilical cord. In seconds after the baby was born a strong wail echoed against the walls of the room and Sokka sobbed. Tears were already streaming down his face from the pain of birth, but now he sobbed in relief. The baby was alive.

Nana passed the infant to Lili who washed it and wrapped it up quickly. “All toes and fingers accounted for, Nana.” She said, her smile wide as the baby continued wailing. Lili then passed it off to Chun-mei’s oldest daughter, Da-hee, who held the baby. Sokka didn’t remember anyone else having been in the room but couldn’t be concerned with it at the moment.

“Good. Sokka, while I would love for you to be able to hold her, we’ve got to get a whole other baby out. Next contraction you’re going to push as hard as you can. We’re almost done here, sweetheart. Just hang on.” Nana said, her voice comforting to Sokka in his mind clouded with pain and endorphins.

Chun-mei shifted behind Sokka, supporting him under his arms. Lili took back her place next to Nana as Sokka felt the beginnings of the next contraction start in his belly. Once more his stomach tightened, the pain shot through his lower back and Sokka pushed with every ounce of strength left in him. He felt the pressure of the baby leaving his body, and he waited, panting as he dropped back against Chun-mei. Nana was muttering something to Hanna, who was taking the second baby. The silent baby.

“And one more push Sokka. We’ve got to deliver the afterbirth. Shouldn’t be too hard. Just a little more, you’re doing so well.”

Sokka couldn’t control his body’s reaction to the last contraction, pushing again to deliver the placenta, waiting and waiting to hear the second baby cry.

“Nana?” He gasped, panic starting to take the place of weariness.

“It’s okay, Sokka. Everything’s fine. Hanna, how are we coming?”

“I can’t...The cord is wrapped too tightly around his neck. He can’t breathe.”

“What?” Sokka’s mind was a busy rush. Lili stepped over, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as Chun-mei continued to hold and rock him gently.

“Come on, Sokka. We need to clean you up. Nana and Hanna are going to take care of things.”

“My baby…”

“Shh, come on love. Come on. This way.” Chun-mei and Lili stood Sokka up and started leading him into the room where Da-hee was with the first baby. He’d just stepped through the threshold when there was a weak wail. Sokka whipped around so fast he almost fell. Chun-mei had to hold him upright as he struggled to walk back to the birthing stool.

“My baby. Give me my baby.” He reached out, the two other women struggling to keep him standing as he reached for the tiny form in Nana’s arms. The purplish cord that had been wrapped around his neck was hanging from her hand and the infant fought, covered in blood and screaming, though not nearly as loudly as his sister had.

Nana passed the infant to Sokka, who took him gently into his arms and held the baby to his chest. “Shh, it’s okay baby. I’m right here. It’s okay.” He cooed, stroking the blood-covered face.

“Sokka, dear, we need to clean him off.” Hanna said, “You can go see your other little one in the other room.”

Chun-mei nodded, grasping Sokka firmly by the shoulders as Hanna reached for the baby again. “Come on, you need new clothes and a place to lie down. It will be much easier for you to hold both your precious babies while you’re laying down.”

Sokka reluctantly followed them, not having any other choice with his weak knees after all the exertion. He let them bathe him, re-dress him, and tuck him into the bed, sitting up just a little. Finally he was passed his first baby, her face scrunched up and pink. A shock of dark hair sprouted from underneath the blanket she was swaddled in. As he adjusted her in his arms with Lili instructing him on the proper way to cradle her in his elbow, she opened her eyes and peered up at him. As their eyes met he felt a rush of warmth engulf his heart and he traced his finger over her cheek as she squirmed and wailed quietly.

“Sokka?” Hanna entered the room and Sokka raised his eyes from his baby girl to see the other woman holding a slightly smaller bundle in her arms. “This is your baby boy.”

They helped him adjust so he could hold both babies in his arms. The boy was still crying a little and the girl was cooing and gurgling happily in Sokka’s arms.

Hanna and Lili took positions sitting on either side of Sokka, ready to take a baby if necessary. Chun-mei and Da-hee flanked the doorway as Nana came in, wiping her hands off on a towel.

“Well, there you are, Sokka. You made it through one of the most difficult parts of life. You’ve successfully given birth. Not just to one baby, either, but two. And in your first pregnancy. You’re a tough one, that’s for sure.” Nana said, her wrinkled face creasing as she smiled at Sokka. “Do you have names in mind for them?”

“The girl is Kanna. And for the boy...Kodai.” Sokka stared down at his babies in turn, his eyes becoming misty as he thought back to his family in the south pole that he was naming his children for.

“Good names for both. I expect them both to grow up strong and healthy. They’re just as tough as their mother.” Nana winked at Sokka, and he laughed, doing his best not to jostle or upset the babies nestled in his arms.

* * *

Growing up during the 100 Year War had given Sokka an amazing set of skills. He could assess battlefields for strategical advantages, was able to plan for and against any obstacle that may come up in a crisis, could last several days on very little sleep, and could go hours and days with minimal food and water rations.

Raising two children on his own was a lot like war. The women in the village were life-savers for Sokka. They helped him figure out how to raise two babies, helped take care of them when he needed a break, and helped him adjust to his new life and his new body. 

It had only been a few weeks after the twins were born that Sokka received a letter from his sister.

* * *

_ Sokka, _

_ I am shocked and appalled that you haven’t even bothered to write me in this whole year that we’ve been apart. Why wouldn’t you even bother to just sent a quick note telling me you’re not dead, or dying, or being stupid?? I had to send this along with the next boat leaving the south pole that wasn’t heading straight for the north pole. You’re rude and horrible and how dare you even. _

_ I’m coming in a week, so you better come up with a good explanation as to why you’ve been such an idiot. I’ll be waiting to hear it. _

_ Katara _

_ P.S. Dad and Grangran say hi. We miss you a lot. Dad wishes he could come but he’s busy with diplomatic relations. I was supposed to come along but you remember how the North Pole was with women being in charge of things. I’m giving Dad a script and a list of talking points to make sure he not only stays on target but he brings up real issues. _

_ K. _

* * *

Sokka’s mind raced. Where would he have her stay? How could he ever explain to her about the twins? Would she even understand? Not to mention his body hadn’t recovered yet. His hips were still wide, and his breasts were full of milk for the babies. How on earth could he hide that from his sister? Especially because she was observant to a fault.

Kanna wailed loudly behind him as he read the letter and he sniffed the air and bounced a bit, rocking her and her brother in the double wrap that Lili had donated to him. No suspicious smells from either baby, and the movement calmed her easily. Kodai remained sleeping on Sokka’s chest, tiny baby noises issuing from his mouth as he dozed. Kanna gurgled interestedly from Sokka’s back, her hands reaching and grasping for Sokka’s hair as he pondered what to do.

There was no way to hide the changes in himself, or to hide the fact that the babies were much too young to be refugee orphans. But how could he tell his sister about everything that had happened in the past year? The babies were obviously his with their dark skin, and Kodai’s silver-blue eyes, but they were clearly not related to any of the women in the village, or any of the men for that matter. And eventually they’d start looking like Zuko too, and honestly that was a talk Sokka never wanted to have ever with his baby sister. 

And he had less than a week to figure out what he was going to do.

He tried to keep his breathing under control as he tidied up his house in preparation for leaving to go work with Nana. He’d been able to continue his job with her, continuing being relegated to easy jobs with little to no strain on him, or time constrictions so he could care for the twins when necessary. 

Nana knew immediately when he arrived that something was wrong.

“Go home.”

“What?” He asked, startled by her abrupt reaction to him opening her door and entering the house.

“Go home. I can do fine on my own today. Something is clearly on your mind and I don’t want you distracting me.” Nana’s voice was gruff as she puttered around her house, pointedly ignoring that Sokka was still standing in her front door.

“But, Nana…” 

“Whatever it is, you’re stressed out about it and need time to think. I’ve known you long enough to know what’s going on in your head.”

He smiled at her and looked at all her mismatched and horribly outdated furniture, the clutter on all the shelves that secretly held the answers to any malady or injury one could come in contact with on the island. “Thank you, Nana. I’ll be by tomorrow.”

“Go!” She shooed him off with a wave of her hands. “You’re letting the bugs in, silly boy.” Sokka carefully turned himself around so as to avoid knocking either of the twins against the door frame and closed the door behind himself.

Instead of going straight home, as he’d been instructed, he made a trip through the market to stock up on supplies he was low on, chatted with the women he met there, and pretended he wasn’t panicking on the inside about his sister coming to visit.

He was startled by a flash of pink and green attacking him from the side and he squelched the response to lash out at the perceived attack. He managed to turn enough to avoid having either baby jostled or bumped as he identified the assailant who was wrapping him in a tight hug around his neck from the side.

“Ty Lee?!” He gasped when he recognized her.

“Sokka!” She called back, bouncing backwards enough to keep him at arm’s length. “What’s up? Your aura is all icky!” Ty Lee scowled and wiped off her shoulders and arms briefly.

“Uh...I’m just...I mean…” It was always difficult to lie to Ty Lee, what with her bright personality and coercive manner of blocking your chi and making it so you had no choice but to respond to her truthfully or you wouldn’t be able to move your left arm ever again. Sokka sighed, shifting his grip on his grocery basket and adjusting his stance to better accommodate the weight of the babies. “Katara’s coming into town and I don’t know how to explain-” he interrupted himself and made a vague hand gesture encompassing his whole body, as well as the twins, “All of this.” He finished.

“Hmm,” Ty Lee pressed a finger to her lips as she thought. “Well, isn’t she a healer? She’ll have seen stuff like this before I’m sure.”

“I don’t think so, Ty Lee. Remember, she came from the South Pole just like me.” Sokka pressed his lips into a straight line. He imagined the hurt look on her face when she realized he would never be able to trust her with everything. He imagined her water rising around her and lashing out at him, at his babies. At his village.

He loved his sister but she was  _ damn _ scary sometimes. And he couldn’t put her through this. He couldn’t put his  _ family _ through this.

“Ty Lee...I’m going to need you to do me a favor.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka's plan is revealed.

The plan was, from the outside, fairly simple: Sokka was running away. 

Once it was broken down into parts so that he wouldn’t get caught, it became a little trickier. The only people who knew he was leaving were Ty Lee, Nana, and his close group of female friends he had made during his pregnancy.

Together they came up with an escape for him. Nana was sending him and Da-hee to do some routine shopping in Omashu for some of the more exotic herbs she used in her healing practices. Most of the Kyoshi Warriors, including Ty Lee, were heading to the Fire Nation with Suki. Sokka and Da-hee would board the ship with them. They would all end up at the port in Chin, where the Kyoshi Warriors would board another ship to take them to the Fire Nation. From there he and Chun-mei’s eldest daughter would travel to Omashu. Once in the city, his cover would be secure. He would then travel on to Ba Sing Se, where he could easily hide himself in the crowds of the refugees of the lower ring, raising his children among other single mothers. He would create a new life for himself, away from his past in the war, away from his family and friends who already clearly could do without him just fine.

Nana had taught him all he would need to know to open up his own herbalist shop, selling medicinal teas, and small fixes that could support him and the twins well enough. If he was lucky, the Kyoshi Warriors would pass Katara in their travels and would pass on the news that he was headed on a long journey to Omashu and that he wouldn’t be back for a while. That should give him plenty of time to complete his disguise and hide better.

Sokka knew traveling with the babies would be tricky. One infant was difficult. Two would be nearly impossible. And it would just be him with the two of them after leaving Da-hee in Omashu. He expressed his concerns with a couple of the other mothers in the village who had come to support him, and know the whole story so they could best cover for him in his absence. They assured him he would be well taken care of on the way to Omashu. Chun-mei’s daughter would teach him to take care of the twins on his own. Da-hee would then come back with the herbs that Nana needed.

* * *

 

The day came and he packed all the twins’ things up, as well as some things for himself. He and Da-hee set out with the Kyoshi Warriors on the boat out of the bay. The two of them were the same age and got along quite well, especially with the babies. He was looking forward to the journey to Omashu with her very much.

The trip from Kyoshi to Chin was very short. No more than an hour at most. Sokka’s nerves were strung taut as he tried to calm himself by rocking Kanna to sleep as Da-hee played with Kodai’s toes, making the baby coo and gurgle happily. Suki approached the two tentatively.

“Sokka, may I speak with you?” Sokka looked up at her, Kanna resting quietly in his arms, finally nodding off. 

“Yeah, sure.” He struggled to stand with one arm as ballast while the other held Kanna. “What do you need?”

“If we could just...maybe alone?” Sokka blinked, made sure Da-hee was okay with Kodai, and followed Suki over to a more deserted area of the ship deck.

“What’s up?”

“I wanted to...smooth things over between us. I know...there were things said between us both that were unkind and I am as much guilty of that as you are. I just...Clearly a relationship would not be able to work long-term between us or it...it would have.”

“Right…” Sokka said. He was sad she didn’t think they had a potential future at all, but at the same time he knew in his heart she was right. “Which...I am sorry about how I....delivered the news. That wasn’t fair to you and you deserved better.”

“You’re absolutely right. But that’s behind us now. Can we still be...can we be friends?” Suki looked hesitant and scared, her lower lip caught between her teeth in a way that Sokka found undeniably attractive, despite their incompatibility as a couple. 

Sokka smiled. “Of course.” He reached his free arm out, allowing her to come into the embrace on her own. She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek which made his cheeks flush. Oh he was going to hurt her so badly when she found out what he was doing. He hoped the news would take a while to get to the Fire Nation.

“You be safe out there, okay? My favorite babies are with you and I’d hate to have to kill their mom if anything ever happened to them.” Sokka laughed as she pulled away, raising his free hand to the air in a solemn oath.

“You have my word. Shoot, I’d kill me if anything happened to these two.” He smiled down at Kanna in his arms. It fell away as he remembered the long journey ahead, what he was taking the two away from for his own selfishness. He could turn back. Go to Omashu with Da-hee and pick up the herbs and come back. He could come clean to Katara, have his whole family, his friends, be around people who loved him. But Sokka couldn’t face his sister knowing she would one day know that the children were Zuko’s. He couldn’t face  _ Zuko. _ Or anyone. How could he? He was a disgrace as a man. He was a terrible friend, a worse boyfriend, and he was likely to be the most horrible mother. After all, who was he to draw his knowledge from? He could barely remember his mother, and a 14-year-old younger sister, no matter how maternal she could be, did not a mother make.

He was terrified, he realized as he stared down at his baby. He was scared and he didn’t know how to fix any of this.

Suki placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to catch his eye, “Hey, long-face. You got quiet there. Seasickness getting to you again?”

He laughed weakly. “Yeah, yeah.” He sighed. “You’re an amazing woman, you know that? You deserve the world.”

“Of course I do. And so do you, Sokka. You’re gonna be fine.” She smiled brightly and he was helpless to return it before he went back to Da-hee to prepare themselves and the babies for docking and disembarking from the ship.

* * *

Sokka and Da-hee waited around the docks to see the Kyoshi Warriors off to the Fire Nation before heading out to Omashu. If he cried, no one mentioned it. He would never see those girls again. But they would be doing good work and keeping the world from falling back into war. It was worth everything to do what he was going to do. It would keep everything peaceful in the grand scheme of things. Who was he? Just the meat-and-sarcasm-guy who happened to have two babies because he couldn’t keep his hands off the Fire Lord that one time.

Eventually he and Da-hee had to be on their way if they wanted to get to the next town before dark, especially since the babies would need to be fed regularly. 

The trip to Omashu was fairly uneventful. It took them a couple of days to get there, hitching a ride with a supply cart heading that direction, allowing the two to rest their feet and care for the babies as necessary. Da-hee was continually helping Sokka learn how to care for both babies on his own. She eased herself out of their care little by little, until they were in Omashu and she was only a casual onlooker as Sokka took care of diapers and feedings with the efficiency of a well-oiled machine. 

They attached the babies in the dual carrier so that Kanna was on his chest and Kodai was on his back. A cross-body bag was laden with food, clothes, extra diapers, and anything he might need on his journey to Ba Sing Se. She hugged him tightly, minding the babies.

“Okay, Navi.” Da-hee used his new alias, holding him at arm’s length and looking him over, “You’ve got this. I’ll head back home and let everyone know you’re well on your way to the great unknown and make sure to write when you’re safe.” She said, tears in her eyes threatening to spill over. He could easily hide in Ba Sing Se if no one knew him as a man there. Single mothers, left alone by the war, were in great numbers throughout the world. His new persona, Navi, was no different. Left with two babies, wanting to start her life again in a new city full of opportunity, it was the perfect cover to hide with. 

He was getting ready to leave with a group of other refugees traveling to various parts along the way to Ba Sing Se. Everyone had lost someone, and they wouldn’t ask too many questions about him or his babies. No one would want to pry into a young woman’s life like that. Because that’s who he would be from now on. A young woman, single mother, with a mysterious background and only the future ahead of her.

He hugged Da-hee back, promised to write the village, and without further ado started on his journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter, but don't worry, there's another one on the way here in just a moment.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka's journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: non-con/rape. Please be aware that it is mentioned and detailed up to an extent. I am not responsible if you choose to read it anyway and then have an issue with it. I've done my best to warn you now and I will promise this is the ONLY time this particular warning will be used on this work in relation to an active scene and not a memory or passing mention (which will be VAGUE). This is not that time however, and I am very aware that this could be potentially triggering to some readers.

A couple weeks into the journey, Sokka was becoming fast friends with the women and young mothers in the group. Everyone loved the twins, which was exceedingly helpful when he found he was too tired to manage both of them at once. Someone would hold one baby while he took care of the other. And the babies were in love with all the women. They were growing quickly and were enthralled with the world around them. Sokka smiled happily as he watched the younger women wiggle their fingers in Kanna’s face as Sokka fed Kodai on his breast.

Some of the other young mothers were also feeding their babies, and they sat and talked, getting to know one another. Early on, someone had asked about the father of the twins and Sokka had gone quiet, afraid they would figure out his secret and know he wasn’t who he said he was, that he had sex with the current Fire Lord, and his cover would be blown. His silence however had led to further solidarity with the women as they all quickly changed the subject. They wordlessly ensured that his privacy was his own, and he would be able to rest easy in that knowledge. Sisterhood was something he had learned about in Kyoshi, and he was very glad that it seemed to extend even outside of the island’s boundaries.

They picked up and began walking again, those with infants bound to them walking together in the middle of the large group. A few men were positioned in the front, leading the ostrich-horses pulling the cart of supplies and trade goods. Others were scattered throughout the rest of the group. The elderly, ill, and small children rode on the cart, sitting among the piles of things. 

Sokka had tried, in vain, to make himself useful to the group of men who were unimpressed with his skills and abilities and told him to “go back to the hens” and keep his nose out of the “men’s business” because a woman like him couldn’t ever comprehend the struggles of travel like they did. Annoyed and upset by this, he grumbled and complained to the other women, who patted his shoulder and reassured him that he wasn’t alone. 

There were a few men who were not so terrible. Most of them were the husbands of some of the women, but there was one younger man who seemed sympathetic to Sokka’s plight, and made an effort to seek him out during their stops. 

Jun was kind, and would give Sokka extra food from his own plate, listen to Sokka’s stories, and would laugh at Sokka’s jokes. Sokka was just glad to have someone there who didn’t think he was delicate or useless. Jun would even play with the babies sometimes. It was often that Sokka would go off with some of the ladies to go bathe, leaving Kodai and Kanna in the care of some of the other women, and he would come back to see Jun cooing over the two, playing with them gently. It warmed Sokka’s heart to see someone else taking such an interest in them, and he was glad that his new friend was so willing to put up with him and his two children.

The women would often switch off on watching the children as a big group for meals, two women to the group of infants and toddlers while their mothers had a night off. Sokka would often volunteer, just so he wouldn’t be far from Kodai and Kanna. This was one of the few nights he was forced to go off without them to have a good time. And he  _ was _ enjoying himself. After food, they sat around and a few men played instruments while their wives sang. Some couples danced, and Sokka enjoyed watching them move elegantly across the dirt. He clapped along to the music and laughed when the men would trip and forget steps, tumbling their wives and spinning wildly to catch their balance. 

Jun sat nearby, also watching the revelry, but Sokka could occasionally feel Jun’s eyes on him. It made him incredibly self conscious, but he attempted to ignore it. Eventually Jun placed his hand on Sokka’s forearm, standing and leading Sokka up as well. Sokka protested, “Oh, no you don’t want to see me dance. I promise.” He laughed, pulling away.

“Come on, yes I do. Let’s go. You can’t be any worse than I am!” Jun laughed, pulling Sokka into the circle of dancers. A cheer went up from everyone else as he led Sokka around and around, spinning him in circles and making him dizzy. The firelight created flashing shadows on everything, further making Sokka’s head spin as he tried to get his feet underneath him. It was hard to dance gracefully when he barely knew his own body anymore - not that he’d been terribly graceful before. Jun barely allowed Sokka to catch his balance, before whisking him off again. The group laughed and cheered, egging the young couple on as they turned about the fireside in a galloping whirl. Sokka couldn’t help himself and he lost himself in laughter, fighting to catch his breath through all the twirling, whirling hops and leaps Jun was putting him through. It was possibly the most fun he’d had in a very long time. The song changed and Jun was pulling him out of the circle as everyone who wasn’t singing or playing an instrument got up to dance now.

“Come on, Navi. I have something I want to show you.” He said, pulling Sokka’s hand and leading him into the woods by the campsite. Away from the fire, it grew dark quickly and Sokka blinked to try and make the flashing behind his eyes stop as his head stopped spinning quite so quickly. He stumbled after Jun, wondering what it was the other young man could possibly want to show him. Jun stopped just on the far side of some trees, where the sounds of the campsite were muffled by the forest around them. He spun around and stared at Sokka, the light of the waning moon shining down between the leaves of the trees. His head far more clear now, Sokka started feeling very uncomfortable so far away from the rest of the group.

“What’s up, Jun?” He asked, still breathless from the dancing and then being pulled into the forest.

“Navi...you’re a very beautiful woman.” Sokka blushed as Jun’s voice was low. “I have tried to make it obvious that I find you very attractive. And I think you like me too.”

Sokka swallowed. Oh no. “Oh, haha, I um...not that you’re not a great guy, Jun. I think you’re awesome but-”

“Don’t play coy, Navi. I know it’s true. I’ve seen the way you look at me and I know you’ve caught me looking at you. It’s clear there’s something between us. Let’s make it into something more.”

“Look, Jun, I’m not...I’m not ready for-”

“Yes, you are. Look, you’re looking at me so lovingly now.” Jun was clearly delusional since all Sokka was staring at him with was confusion. Jun reached his work-calloused hand towards Sokka’s face and he shrank back. This only made Jun’s smile grow wider, “I see how it is. Going to play hard to get. That’s fine. I like the chase.” He winked, and lunged towards Sokka.

Sokka bobbed out of the way, dashing under Jun’s arm and out of reach, his feet light beneath him. Oh this was bad. This was really really bad. Jun spun around. Sokka had made it to the other side of the small clearing but there wasn’t nearly enough space between the two of them. His breath was coming short and quick as adrenaline forced his brain into overdrive. Dresses were not the most practical for fighting, he didn’t care how much Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors said otherwise. 

The worst part was he was now on the opposite side of the clearing from the camp. He would have to pass Jun again to get back to the safety of the fireside. Jun, who was quickly advancing on Sokka once more. Sokka bounced on his toes as he tried to think of the best way out of this. Oh if only he’d brought his boomerang! Jun reached Sokka just as Sokka dodged out of the way once more, backing away from the other man and hoping he could evade him long enough to get back to the camp - or at the very least wear the other guy out. Jun’s smile became toothy and fearsome and Sokka felt the switch from fight to flight in his bones. This was dangerous. Sokka was way out of shape for fighting, and really out of practice for hand-to-hand combat. Not to mention he still was learning his new body post-babies. He needed to run and run quickly.

Sokka turned to run into the forest, not caring which direction the camp was anymore, as long as he got away from Jun. He made it two steps before he was tackled to the ground by the waist. Landing hurt, and he heard something rip. Jun’s body was pressing into him and hot breath washed over his neck with sickly humidity. “There we go. Not so fast now, pretty Navi.” He shifted up Sokka’s body and pulled some of Sokka’s loose hair from his face. “So pretty. All mine.”

Sokka squirmed, trying to wriggle free from underneath the other man, but he was trapped by a hand to his waist that flipped him over onto his back. “No, really. You don’t want to do this.” Sokka didn’t even know what  _ this _ was yet, but he was pretty sure he didn’t want to find out.

“You’re very good at playing hard to get, Navi. But you don’t have to play anymore. You’re safe here with me. I’ll take good care of you.” Jun leaned down and sniffed his way up Sokka’s neck, pulling the collar of Sokka’s dress down for more skin to work with. Sokka felt his skin crawl as goose bumps sprouted over his whole body. This was gross. This was gross in so many ways.

“Get off me, Jun.” Sokka pushed at Jun’s shoulders but the other man was heavier than Sokka. And Sokka hadn’t done any heavy lifting since he’d helped build his house on Kyoshi Island, almost a whole year ago.

Jun’s voice was low and somehow dangerous sounding, “Don’t fight back. This won’t hurt.” Sokka’s heart beat faster, his palms sweating. What was he going to do now? “You’re not nearly as attractive as other girls, Navi. But you’re so sweet and naive, and that’s what I like about you.” Jun was growling into Sokka’s ear, rubbing against Sokka roughly. Sokka balked as he felt Jun’s erection and he panicked, freezing into place as he couldn’t do anything else. “You must have guessed how much I want to be with you.” Jun’s hand pet Sokka’s cheek and then wrenched Sokka’s face towards him by his chin. 

“Look, I don’t really like you that way. I promise. You’re a great guy but that’s just it. I just wanted a friend. I don’t want anything else!”

“Well we can definitely be friends. But I want more from you than just friends. Come on, Navi. You’re such a sweet girl. Won’t you be sweet to me?” There wasn’t enough time to catalogue Jun’s words before his mouth was on Sokka’s.

Sokka had been kissed before. Yue had been warm and sweet. With Suki it had been soft and kind. With Zuko there had been passion and fire. This was completely different. This was invasion. Sokka tried to scream, but Jun took that as an invitation to shove his tongue down Sokka’s throat. He tried to bite down but Jun’s grip on his chin didn’t allow for any movement of his jaw. Sokka fought to turn his head to the side but Jun was bigger and slightly stronger than Sokka. 

Finally Sokka got his hands between the two of them and he  _ shoved _ . Jun stumbled back a bit and Sokka shouted at him, “Get off me!”

Jun’s face twisted, his upper lip curling as Sokka scrambled backwards like a crab. He approached Sokka again. “Who the hell do you think you are? You’re lucky anyone wants to touch you, fucking whore. Having babies at your age, no one else will want to fuck you. You’ll give me what I want, or I’ll beat the shit out of you and take it anyway.” Sokka trembled. He tried to stand and run but Jun was quicker, grabbing his shoulders and pressing him back into the ground. “Don’t fight or you’ll have worse things to worry about.”

Before Jun’s mouth descended on his own again, Sokka attempted to scream but his voice caught in his throat and all that came out was a weak croaking sound. Teeth bit and clashed against his own, and he tasted blood. Sokka wasn’t sure if it was his own or not and he squirmed and tried to wriggle away. Jun was unrelenting, pinning Sokka’s shoulder to the ground with one hand and reaching up into Sokka’s skirt with his other. Sokka flailed his arms, beating against Jun as hard as he could, kicking his legs out towards Jun’s shins, trying as hard as he could to dislodge the other man. It was all in vain and Sokka eventually stopped struggling and went limp, his eyes screwed shut and his fists clenched at his sides as Jun’s fingers entered him. Sokka left his body and seemed to watch the rest from far away. The pain was still there, the violation, but he couldn’t feel it. Sokka didn’t come back to himself until well after Jun finished. He stared up at Jun, tears welling up in his eyes as he glared fiercely at the older man. 

“You’re going to pay for that.” He hissed, kneeling on the ground, his body dirty and covered in Jun’s release under his clothing. “You’re going to fucking pay for all of this, you disgusting, horrible--”

“Whatever. You definitely liked it. You were tighter than I thought you’d be, whore.” Jun kicked some dirt at Sokka and he flinched away from the spray.

And with that Sokka was left at the base of the tree, alone and in the dark. The moon shone on him and he broke down in Yue’s light and cried.

* * *

Eventually, Sokka picked himself up and carried himself to the camp. Most of the others who had been around the fire for dinner had gone to sleep. The two young mothers who were watching the children smiled kindly as he came to see the twins. He didn’t speak to them and instead lost himself in feeding first Kodai and then Kanna. He ignored the pain in his lower regions, hoping that if there was blood it wouldn’t soak through his skirt. He still hadn’t found where the tear he had heard early into the encounter was.

Once both children were fed and cared for, he placed them on their soft cushion and laid out his bedroll beside them. He watched the two sleep until dawn. He rose early, only a couple of the older women were awake, and some with very young children were starting to rise themselves. He cared for the children, left them to one of the women with older children whose sleep pattern didn’t allow her to rest longer than the sun was down, and went off with a couple other girls to go bathe. He picked a spot far from the others and undressed himself, before submerging entirely underneath the surface of the water. It took all he had not to open his mouth and scream into the river, but he feared someone would notice. Instead he stood, scrubbed all of the dirt off of himself, and then set about checking for injuries. He was scraped up a little, but the worst of it was inside of him. He carefully felt around his genitals, pressing in only a little and pulling away with sticky, half-hardened semen and dried blood on his fingers. He forced down the bile that rose while he washed himself, using probably more soap than necessary.

He only hoped this wouldn’t result in more children. He wasn’t entirely sure what he would do if…

Finally clean, Sokka left the water and wrapped himself in a linen towel - covering his entire body as best he could. He then lay out his dress and searched it to make sure it wasn’t torn anywhere obvious. He found the pulled seam, just at the hemline in the back. He could pass that off as wear and tear from traveling he was sure. All it would take was some quick stitches and he’s dress would be good as new. He pulled on his under-dress and wrapped the linen cloth around his hair. It was long enough to touch the middle of his shoulder blades and flopped out of the top of the towel turban he created as he dressed himself. He waited with his bathing supplies for the other girls to finish their baths before they all headed back to camp.

Most of the rest of camp had risen by the time they came back. Sokka retrieved the twins and carefully attached them to his person before he rolled up his bed and their cushion and grabbed his bag.

“Hey! Navi!” Mei-yun, another young mother, called, jogging to catch up with Sokka. Sokka turned and smiled, though he was afraid it didn’t really reach his eyes. “So I hear you and Jun stepped away from the campfire last night for some  _ alone time _ .” She winked and poked him gently in the side.

Sokka paled. They knew and they didn’t think there was anything  _ wrong _ with what had happened. He nodded mutely.

“Niiice.” She sighed, “Man, he’s such a cutie. I’m kinda jealous he picked you.”

_ You’re not nearly as attractive as other girls, Navi. But you’re so sweet and naive, and that’s what I like about you. I’ll take good care of you. _

_ Fucking whore. No one else will ever want to fuck you. _

Sokka laughed weakly, pushing the all-too-vivid memories of the night before out of his head. “Yeah…”

“You alright, Navi?”

Sokka nodded again, “Yeah, fine.” He lied. No one would understand. He couldn’t bring it up to anyone. He stroked Kodai’s hair, the baby boy sleeping peacefully on his chest. If it kept the twins safe, he would do anything. Even if it meant keeping this horrible thing to himself. Mei-yun lost interest in his silence and moved on to gossip with some of the other women. Sokka continued on, trying not to spook as people moved around him as they all walked together.

The message traveled from the front of their caravan -- they would be reaching Full Moon Bay soon. Sokka breathed a sigh of relief. Once at the bay, their party would split up necessarily in order to go through the passport lines to get on the boats to Ba Sing Se. And once he was in Ba Sing Se, Sokka could blend into his surroundings and be unnoticable and most of all  _ safe _ .

He startled horribly when a familiar voice came up behind him. “So, looks like we’ll have only a little longer together, huh?” Jun said, his voice causing Sokka’s insides to clench in fear. He refused to respond, looking straight ahead and continuing to walk forward. Jun sighed, laughing a little, “Same as ever, huh Navi? Hey, listen, if we get lucky we’ll be on the same boat to Ba Sing Se. That would be pretty great, right?”

Sokka swallowed the sour taste in his mouth. He wanted literally anything but that. But he didn’t want to cause a scene. “I’m kind of thinking about skipping Ba Sing Se completely.” He said, offhandedly.

“Sweet, then I’ll join you.” Sokka tensed his shoulders. He was thankful when one of the older women, Kai-la, came up beside him on the other side.

“Everything alright, you two?”

“Just discussing options for when we reach Full Moon Bay.” Jun’s arm swung and landed heavily on Sokka’s shoulders, barely missing Kanna’s head as he did so. Sokka ducked and moved out from under the man’s arm, dancing around to the other side of Kai-la. Jun only laughed, “Oh you!” He teased, before striding ahead to speak with some of the men.

Kai-la looked sideways at Sokka. “Hm.” She said. “I take it your tryst with him last night was not as good for you as it was for him.”

Sokka wanted to laugh hysterically. Instead he shrugged. “I just don’t see him like...like that.” He said softly.

“Hm, could have fooled the entire rest of the camp. But I understand.” Kai-la responded, her voice respectfully low in order to allow Sokka a sense of privacy. “You are under no obligation to spend time with him if you are made uncomfortable by his presence. No man has a right to oppress you in such a manner.” Sokka nodded, opting to stay silent.

“And of course, if anything were to happen where he harmed you in any way, he would have a lot of mothers to deal with.” She said, slightly more loudly. Sokka wanted to smile, knowing she was trying to be funny. All he could do was force himself to not be sick on his shoes. Kai-la moved on, towards the front of the caravan to be with her husband. Sokka was left alone for the rest of the day.

* * *

 

They reached Full Moon bay around twilight, and everyone dispersed into the crowd. It was a lot less busy than Sokka remembered. He wondered if he could get away with crossing the Serpent’s Pass again. Probably not, he realized with a grimace as he remembered the destruction the pass had endured on his last trip across. 

He slowly made his way through the long lines to one of the ticket stands. He silently handed over the three passports that had been made for him before he’d left Kyoshi Island by the notary who had seven great children all under the age of 10. She’d been excited about issuing him the passports as she rarely got to do so. He was grateful for her exuberance.

“Hmmm. You and the two babies, correct?” He nodded to the grumpy looking gentleman who peered at him over wire-framed glasses. There was paper shuffling and three separate stamps. “Your boat leaves in half an hour. I’d suggest getting in the queue for that now. Dock four, can’t miss it. It’s the big one.” Sokka looked towards the man’s pointing finger and across the crowd to the large boat.

He reached for the three tickets, thanking the man softly. The grumpy, lined face softened and he pulled out something from under the desk.

“Before you go, here.” He passed the small wrapped package to Sokka. “It’s supposed to be my dessert but I’ve had plenty of food for my lifetime.” He placed it in Sokka’s hands and wrapped Sokka’s fingers around it. “You look like you could use something sweet.”

“Thank you.” Sokka said, as the smell of baked sugar wafted up from the package.

“Run off, now. Don’t miss your boat. Have a great time in Ba Sing Se.”

Sokka waved to the gentleman as he moved through the crowd to his dock. 

* * *

Sokka couldn’t stop the urge to continuously look over his shoulder as he boarded the Moon Flower Delight - the ship that would take him across the Bay to Ba Sing Se. He was terrified that somehow Jun would come out of nowhere and do something horrible to Sokka again. Even among the crowd of people, he felt unsafe. Every man was a danger, every woman an enabler to a horror he wouldn’t have inflicted on anyone. All he had to do was keep his children safe, and keep moving forward. He would be hidden. All he had to do was keep quiet, make sure no one noticed him, stay as inconspicuous as he could on his own with two babies attached to him. Sokka stayed on edge as the last passenger boarded and the ship disembarked. He hadn’t seen anyone he knew yet, but he didn’t want to let his guard down just yet. 

Someone bumped against his arm, and apologized before moving on. Sokka tensed and closed in further on himself. He decided to go find a spot to sit down. It would be night soon and he didn’t want to have to settle down too close to anyone. He picked a spot on the back of the ship, the solid metal railing separating the deck from the open water was steady against Sokka’s back as he unloaded himself. His bag created a barrier between him and the rest of the passengers on the ship. His babies would ensure no one would bother him unless they really enjoyed the possibility of crying infants.

Sokka suddenly was not so glad his children were so quiet. It was wonderful when he needed to sleep, but when he needed the deterrent from others coming close it was anxiety-inducing. He resisted the need to whisper at the babies sitting in his lap, propped against his bag, to start crying. He didn’t want them to form bad habits just because he was nervous.

No one approached him the whole trip. He made sure by staying awake the whole night, and keeping an eye on everyone who passed him.

By the time the ship docked at mid-afternoon the next day, Sokka was feeling the effects of sleep deprivation. He was unwittingly reminded of the time Azula, Mai and Ty Lee were chasing them down because Appa couldn’t keep his fur to himself. This was a lot less dangerous than that, but that didn’t stop his brain from going into hyperdrive alertness. He disembarked, babies once more strapped to him, and his bag at his side, and stared at the station in front of him. This is where the train would pick him up and take him to the outer ring of Ba Sing Se, where his new life would truly begin.

Sokka tried very hard not to think too much about the sights he’d seen the last time he’d been through the outer ring. Surely, post-war it couldn’t be that bad.

Could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for that, my dears. I want to thank every single one of you that has commented and kudos'ed and i'm just so thankful you all are enjoying this and enjoy my take on Sokka <3 
> 
> You all are so wonderful and lovely and I just want to give all of you the biggest hugs in the whole world. You make my day every time I read a comment from you and my heart is so full of love and happiness that you like what I'm writing. 
> 
> To reiterate, I will not be writing any more rape or non-con scenes in this work unless they are very vaguely mentioned and I will ALWAYS warn prior to the content in the chapter notes. 
> 
> Thank you so much again for reading, and I hope it won't be too long before I get another chapter out :) I'm starting to catch up on where I stopped writing eek!


	9. Chapter 9

Sokka’s feet ached, his back was sore, and the babies were starting to get restless. But there was nowhere for him to stay. The inns were all booked up, and he was terrified of sleeping on the street, where any man could find him. He wasn’t unaware of the looks he garnered, young as he was with two children strapped to him and only a single bag with all of his worldly possessions in tow. 

He collapsed against a door frame, hoping to rest for just a minute before pressing onwards towards somewhere he could acquire both job and housing. His shoulder pressed into the wood and he groaned. He needed to sleep but he knew it would be impossible until he was safely ensconced somewhere no one could get to him and he could lock a door between himself and the outside world. Sokka inhaled deeply, the scent of drying herbs sharp in his nose and he perked up immensely. It was then he noticed the sign above the door he leaned against. “Ina’s Herbs”

Well it was a shame it was so late in the day, or he’d have gone in. Just to be somewhere that  _ smelled _ familiar would have been a comfort. As it was, he settled with just breathing deeply the scents that emanated from the closed wooden door. He startled and almost fell over when the door opened up, letting out soft lamplight.

A short, middle-aged lady with greying hair and hazel eyes peered at him, taking in his full appearance, before nodding to herself, and clucking her tongue. “Well, hurry up. I don’t have all night.” With that she turned and walked back into her shop, leaving the door open behind her. Sokka hopped a little, stepping through the door with only a second’s hesitation. It was so strange for an unfamiliar place to feel like  _ home _ on the instant he stepped inside. But here he was, blinking in the soft firelight from the oil lamp on the counter. Drying herbs hung from the rafters, and bottles and glasses glimmered with the firelight on the shelves that lined the room. Two large windows were shuttered behind him on either side of the door, and he turned slowly to avoid hitting anything and knocking it over. 

“Pay won’t be much, but it’ll keep your little ones fed. I just need some young hands to handle delicate work. Too much of this has ruined my joints and my hands shake sometimes. Not easy to do a lot these days. But you can stay in the bedroom upstairs and I’m pretty quiet most of the time. Haven’t had young ones in here in a while, but you seem like a good type and your babies are cute. I don’t ask questions, and all I need you to do is listen well when I speak to you. Deal?”

Sokka blinked at her, and she clucked her tongue at him again. “Silent, hmmm. Well I can work with that. Got a name, sweetie?”

Sokka refused to flinch at the pet name, and answered her. “S-Navi, ma’am.”

“Mm. Well, just don’t get chatty or point out obvious things. I don’t like dimwits.” She bustled around, “And close the door behind you! You’re letting the bugs in!”

Sokka smiled at the familiar reprimand and closed the door as he was told. The lady showed him to the room and he was ever grateful to find it did have a lock on it. She seemed to notice his joy at seeing the small feature of the room, not even taking into account the rest of the room.

She shook her head slowly, “Poor dear. You get yourself settled and have a good night’s rest. Busy day tomorrow. I’m half out of most of my stock and I’ll need someone to man the shop while I’m gathering.”

“Yes, ma’am.”   


“And no more of that ‘ma’am’ nonsense. I’m Ina and that’s what you’ll call me.” She waved her hand dismissively, closing the door behind her as she left the room, leaving Sokka to stand in the middle of the empty space and look around at his new home. Happy was too inadequate a word for how he felt at that moment. He wouldn’t even question how Ina seemed to know he needed a place to stay. He was just grateful he wouldn’t have to spend yet another night sleepless just to stay safe.

* * *

Ina was a wonderful person. She was immediately impressed with Sokka’s knowledge of herbs and remedies, and was also delighted by Kanna and Kodai. She was in her fifties, and had never had children, though she had been married at one point. She didn’t talk about her spouse, however, and Sokka didn’t press. He assumed her husband had been taken from her in the war, like so many others had. He was glad to become her surrogate daughter with surrogate grandchildren.

They got along swimmingly, too. Ina had clearly gotten the reputation of crazy old lady who knew a lot about healing. So people came to her, but only when absolutely necessary. Sokka could understand that. It was not as close knit a community as Kyoshi Island. However they did have regular business. And now that Sokka was there to help out, people stopped avoiding Ina for minor injuries and illnesses and came for even the smallest cure, simply because he was a new face who wasn’t completely nuts.

Sokka frequently had nightmares that woke him up shaking and sweating. Always the same, always after the full moon, though they did plague him throughout the month as well. But Ina taught him a potion that would help him sleep a dreamless sleep. For a while it did help Sokka. But there was only so much you could do when the slightest provocation would send him into a flashback of the horrors of war mixed with the terror of Jun’s form looming over him.

The twins had been relatively easy to deal with early on. When they began walking, things got a little more tricky. Kanna would set her mind to something, and it would get done in short order. She spoke first, walked first, and managed to somehow get into the rafters of the apartment where neither Sokka, nor Ina could reach. Kanna would see something she wanted and would have it in her hands very soon after she saw it. Sokka had to hide many things around the apartment from her. Once Kanna started talking, she didn't stop chattering at Sokka in half words and broken sentences until she had a strong vocabulary and complex sentence structure down. The ladies who came into the shop were enthralled by her preciousness and ability to express herself at the age of 2. 

Kodai, on the other hand, was calm and quiet, and he tended to be much more sensitive than his sister. Sokka could set him down with a firm instruction to stay put, and Kodai would wait patiently, playing with a toy or looking at his surroundings until Sokka came back. Many times, Kodai was entertained by his sister’s antics. He was also much slower to start speaking but when he did, he skipped over baby talk and chattering and went straight to full sentences, perfect diction and big words. Something you don’t generally hear from a four year old who hadn’t spoken before. Most of the time Kanna and Kodai got along. It was rarely that they disagreed and usually Kanna won. But when Kodai fought back, there was a brawl and Sokka would have to step in, risking life and limb, to separate the two.

The twins were different not only in personality but also in their appearances. Once they had passed the infant stage, their eye colors shifted from hazel grey to warm amber and clear blue. Kanna’s golden eyes were sharp and discerning, the color glinting gold and bronze depending on her mood and interest level. Kodai’s eyes were bright blue, very reminiscent of Katara’s piercing gaze. You knew exactly when Kodai’s tolerance of nonsense was up, as his gaze would become hard and icy, and he would huff quietly, turning his back on whatever he deemed beneath his interest. Kanna’s hair was long, sleek and blue-black, pulled into braids, loops or buns depending on what she and Sokka came up with. Kodai’s hair was fluffier and browner than his sister’s. He liked his hair long, and would ask Sokka to pull it up into top-knots and half-styles like the men of Ba Sing Se that would come into the shop, or like the boys who ran around town. Were it not for their bone structures and light brown skin, a few shades lighter than Sokka’s own, they could almost be unrelated to one another.

* * *

Shortly after the twins’ 5th birthday, Ina and Sokka received a letter from the Inner Ring. They were noted for their exceptional cure-rate on even the most harrowing of illnesses, and were being asked to set up shop closer to the most high-ranking of officials and also be privy to healing the royalty in conjunction with the royal doctor. Ina was flattered but after living so long in the same apartment in the same part of the city, she couldn’t bear to leave her home, or her clientele, to the dangers of living in the outer ring. But she was confident that Sokka would be able to do just as well on his own, and it would also provide his children with greater opportunities as they grew up. He couldn’t very well turn down the offer, especially if it meant a better life for himself and his children. So he packed his, and the children’s belongings, and said his goodbyes to Ina. 

Sokka moved into the apartment above the herbalist shop in the inner ring. Kodai and Kanna were ever helpful (as much as two five-year-olds could be anyway). There were two bedrooms and a larger living space with additional kitchen area. The stairs that led down into the herbalist shop were sturdy and well built. The shop itself was open and airy, windows letting the breeze in and low rafters allowing for drying space for fresh herbs. Sokka was informed that a shipment would arrive the next day for him to begin preparing and drying so he could open as soon as he could. 

It was exciting, as he stood with his hands on his hips. The past five years had allowed his body to mature in ways he hadn’t anticipated. He had a square jaw, and was still wiry and muscular but he was soft around the edges with wide hips and a small but not insignificant bosom. Sokka had allowed his hair to grow long, and he wore it half-up in the wolf-tail style he had grown accustomed to earlier in his life.

Kodai and Kanna dashed through the open space, giggling as they played a game of chase with one another. He smiled as he watched them.

He missed his old life sometimes, but he wouldn’t trade the twins for anything in the world. While it was tricky to raise them on his own, he had managed fine so far.

The business took off and soon he was serving the most elite of the city, as well as collaborating with Ina every so often on harder cases. He wrote to Kyoshi Island every so often, letting them know he and the twins were well, though he used his alias in all his letters. It was safer this way.

He only occasionally thought about his family and friends, but thinking about them distracted him and made him cry. It wasn’t worth all that, so he pushed them out of his mind as best he could, until even his sister’s face was fading from his memory, like his mother’s had before.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited 10th chapter! I hope to work on chapter 11 here next and will have that out as soon as I'm happy with it. We're edging ever closer to the end of my pre-written chapters that I've been editing, which is why updates have been sporadic recently. I still have no idea how long this project is going to end up being. 
> 
> I'm so glad everyone's been enjoying this so far! As my first properly shared fanwork, I am both excited and terrified at sharing it at all and the feedback I've been getting is amazing. To those who have critiqued and asked questions that I may have answered a tad sharply in the past, all I ask is that you respect that this is a story I'm writing for myself because I wanted to read it. It's not meant to be like anything else out there (if it happens to be so that's pure coincidence). This is my take on all of the characters and their relationships. And I'm pleased other people are enjoying it, but I understand it's not everyone's cup of tea/coffee/hot-cocoa/warm milk with honey. And that's okay! If you find I'm messing up grammar, spelling, tone, tense or pacing, please let me know, but characterization is unique to all viewers of content, and I only ask that you respect my view of these characters. <3
> 
> Thank you so much again, and please enjoy this chapter!

It was two years after he had opened the herbalist shop in the inner ring when the second invitation came, bearing the face of Ty Lee in full Kyoshi Warrior garb.

She had knocked on the door, two other warriors with her, standing and smiling. Their uniforms were the same style as they had been, but the colors were no longer the green and gold but red and black. He almost didn’t recognize them, greeting them with the same cheerful smile he gave to all his customers. When he realized who they were his smile dampened slightly.

“Can I help you?” He asked when they entered his shop during a slow period during the day. He was hanging herbs to dry above his head behind the counter, and rearranging some of the bottles and jars behind him full of dried herbs and salves to heal minor wounds and burns. Kanna and Kodai were going to be out of school soon and he would have to worry about corralling them among the fragile glass bottles and any customers who came in.

“Yes, are you Navi the Herbalist?” He nodded. Ty Lee’s voice was familiar but more mature than it had been the last time he had seen her. She was much more subdued than he remembered. “You have been formally invited, on account of your exceptional service to the society of Ba Sing Se, to come to the Fire Nation and serve the high society living in the Capital City.” She passed him a bright red envelope sealed with a pitch-black wax seal embossed with the Royal Crest.

“I see.”

“If you accept this invitation, you will be handsomely paid to serve the court and crown, and any other clients you acquire will pay you directly whatever fees you charge. Your children, if you have any, will be taught in private schools with the children of the highest ranking officials in the Fire Nation. All information regarding the position is detailed in the letter there.” She gestured to the envelope he held now, and he slid his finger under the wax seal. Carefully printed characters did exactly what Ty Lee said, and detailed what he would be doing in the Fire Nation. Nothing would be different from what he currently did, just the location. He would be paid quite handsomely to service the crown - though why they couldn’t find any other herbalist, he didn’t know. It wasn’t like he’d gotten here on his own, after all.

“Why me?” Was all Sokka could think to ask, before the Kyoshi Warriors were nearly barreled over by his two rambunctious seven-year-olds. “Kodai! Kanna, watch out!” He admonished the two as they came and attacked him with simultaneous hugs.

“Sorry, M’ma.” Kanna said.

“Apologize to the nice ladies you ran into.” He said, turning them both around as they untangled their arms from his apron.

“Sorry, ma’ams.” They said simultaneously. The two warriors Sokka was unfamiliar with cooed at the two of them, kneeling down to socialize with the twins, and accepting their apology instantly. Ty Lee crinkled her brow in thought for a second, giving Sokka a look up and down, before looking at the children again. 

She shook her head and smiled at Sokka. “I’m sorry, Miss Navi. What was your question again?”

“Why was I chosen for the position?”

“We are aware you have a penchant for healing work, as well as a great knowledge of many herbs that benefit women and children. We lack a great many healers that specialize in that area due to the effects of the war, and time that has passed. It is of great importance to the crown to find a herbalist healer who would also be able to be discrete about any instances they may call on you for.” She explained, her eyes kind as Sokka thought for a second.

“When do I need to give an answer?”

“You have as long as you need, and of course we would give you time to settle your affairs here before we took you over to your new home.”

“New home? M’ma, what new home?” Kodai turned and looked up at Sokka with big silvery-blue eyes.

“Kodai, what do we say when we want to interrupt a grown-up’s conversation?” Sokka prompted gently.

“Oh yeah. Excuse me, M’ma and Miss Lady. What new home?”

“If you wouldn’t mind, ladies, allowing me time to explain to the children what is going on. We make decisions as a family here so I need to make sure the three of us are on the same page.”

Ty Lee nodded. “Of course, Miss Navi. Take your time. We will be staying down the road at the inn nearby. When you are ready to give your answer, go there and ask for Ty Lee. I will respond as soon as I can.” She bowed, as did the other girls, and they all said farewell and left Sokka standing in his shop with two children firing questions at him literally left and right.

“What’s going on?”

“Who were they?”

“What new home?”

“M’ma are we leaving?”

“Does this mean I don’t have to go to school anymore?”

“One at a time please.” He smiled at them. “Those ladies were Kyoshi Warriors. Do you remember what Mama told you about the place you were born?”

“Kuh-yoshi Ay-lund.” Kanna said, over-enunciating her syllables. “Where Avuhtar Kuh-yoshi lived 400 years ago.”

“Right! Well, those ladies admire Avatar Kyoshi so much that they dress like her to borrow her warrior spirit while they fight. The warriors who came to visit us are the ones from the Fire Nation who protect the Fire Lord. He’s like the Earth King here.”

“Does he have a bear too?”

Sokka laughed, trying to imagine Zuko with a pet bear. “No, I don’t think he does. But he’s like a king. He rules the Fire Nation and works together with the leaders of the other nations to keep the peace in the world. He does a very important job.”

“Oooh. So why was they here?”

“Why  _ were _ they here.” Sokka corrected Kodai gently. “They were here to give Mama a note. See?” He showed them the red envelope and the letter inside. Kanna took it, glanced at it and tossed it back towards Sokka and Kodai. “Too long.”

Kodai caught it and straightened out the bends in it before he looked over it. He asked for the meaning of a couple of words before he finished. “So...you’re gonna have a new job?”

“Maybe. It means leaving Ba Sing Se and going very far away.” He said. Sokka wondered exactly how he would pull off being so near people he once knew. Could he hide still? He didn’t think he looked that different from so long ago, but Ty Lee clearly didn’t recognize him and she’d been in on the plan from the start. Maybe he had changed that much.

“To the Fire Nation?” Kanna asked.

“Yes. To the Fire Nation. And I would have to be there for a very long time.” 

Kanna’s brow crinkled and she pouted, her lips pushed forward and scrunching under her nose, “What about us?”

“Yeah I don’t wanna be alone!”

Sokka smiled, “You wouldn’t be. You’d come with me. We’d live in a new house, and you’d go to a new school.”

The twins shared a silent look between themselves. Sokka would never get over their ability to communicate with one another without any words. Finally, they both nodded at one another and together said at once, “When do we leave?”

* * *

It was short work to get his affairs in order around town. Apparently Ina was going to move into his space and take up his patient load. She was excited for Sokka’s new position, and it would mean no change for the citizens of Ba Sing Se who had gotten used to his work while he was there. The shop was well stocked, and he left his furniture and most of his belongings that weren’t precious to Ina.

His precious items included his old clothes from the water tribe, a few beads that he would occasionally braid into Kanna’s hair, and the twins’ baby blankets. He also brought his dresses from the Earth Kingdom, and all of the twins’ clothes. They each brought what they thought to be their most precious items in their own bags. Kanna brought her collection of clothes, her wooden sword, and her favorite stuffed saber-toothed-moose-calf toy. Kodai had almost an entire library of books (which Sokka would take most of for the sake of space and weight on the boy), as well as a small wooden polar-bear-wolf cub toy.

The Kyoshi Warriors accompanied them on the ship they would take from Ba Sing Se to the eastern shore of the Fire Nation. A carrier hawk had been sent ahead of them, alerting the palace to their arrival.

The trip took two days, and keeping the twins occupied during that time was more of a challenge than Sokka had anticipated. It had been far easier to travel with the two of them as babies than it was to keep them busy now. Kanna wanted to explore the entire trip and finally the Kyoshi Warriors agreed to help out by play-sparring with her. She took it quite seriously however, and there were more than a few bruises on the warriors when they swapped off. Kanna focused on her positions, took the advice and applied it almost instantly, improving immediately and thoroughly wearing out the trained warriors. Kodai was a little easier once he had a book, but he was equally curious about the trip and pestered the sailors with questions about how the ship worked, and what made it float, and how did it keep from sinking in the rain and on and on. Sokka did his best to rein them in, but it was difficult when there was so much ground to cover and they went in opposite directions. Ty Lee and the Kyoshi Warriors tried their best to help but it was still a challenge.

Sokka hadn’t been as glad for a boat to dock since he’d first arrived in Kyoshi after the war. At least this time he didn’t have to throw up. He held tight to both his children, keeping their hands tightly grasped in his as they disembarked. 

“Now we’ll get on an airship and fly to the Capital.” Sokka explained as the children stared in awe at the giant machine in front of them. Ty Lee shared a grin with Sokka at their silence, before leading the way up the ramp.

“This part of the trip should only be a couple hours at most. If the wind cooperates, it may be as little as an hour.”

Sokka swung the hands of his children as he walked with them up into the cabin. Their excitement and rapture was helping distract him from his nerves. He only hoped his appearance was different enough to fool those he had traveled with closely, if he ran into them at all.

As Ty Lee had predicted, the airship ride was quick, and the children were too distracted by watching the ground fall away and pass beneath the ship as they took off to be much trouble. When they landed, he collected them and their belongings and led them off the ship and into the capital city.

All of the destruction from the war had been erased in the past seven years. The city shone in the sunlight, glowing red, pink and gold in the afternoon sun. A fresh start, a new beginning. The children were overwhelmed with the new sights and their heads spun like owls as they gaped at their surroundings.

Sokka tugged them along gently so they could keep up with Ty Lee. Finally they reached their destination. A beautiful, way-too-large house, with the herbalist workshop located on the side of the building, complete with its own personal herb garden.

Ty Lee opened the door and grinned as he brought the children inside. It was completely furnished, with so many rooms Sokka didn’t know how he would have filled it even if he’d brought all of his furniture from the Earth Kingdom and Kyoshi Island combined. Even all of Nana’s things wouldn’t have filled this new house.

As soon as they had crossed the threshold, the children broke free and ran about the house, exploring every nook and cranny. 

“Wow…” Sokka exhaled softly, placing his hands over his mouth and nose almost as if in prayer. “This is…”   


“Nice, huh? The Fire Lord knows how to treat his subjects, that’s for sure!” Ty Lee chuckled. She waved her hand at the other two, who went off to goodness knew where. Sokka wasn’t even concerned. He was still far too overwhelmed by the whole thing. “I mean, even if he doesn’t know you’re an old friend, Zuko’s a nice guy.” Ty Lee winked at Sokka. He sighed, and looked at her fondly.  “You look great though. Motherhood has done you well.” She waved her hands around his body, “Your aura is so magenta. It makes me so happy!” She wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back, closing his eyes. Oh how long it had been since he had had someone hold him like this. He’d missed it so much. He snuggled her tight before backing off and holding her at arm’s reach, his hands on her shoulders as she mirrored him.

She was taller than he was, beautiful and curvaceous as ever. Her hair was glossy and gorgeous. Her girlish face had acquired the angles and roundness ofa woman’s face in the time since he’d last seen her. Hazel eyes twinkled as she took him in.

“Oh Ty Lee...it’s been so long.” He said, cocking his head to the side, a soft smile on his face as he urged away the tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. It wasn’t working but at least he wasn’t actively crying yet.

Her eyes were also suspiciously wet. “I know, right? Oh, Sokka...we’ve missed you so much. No one here knows you’re...you.” She said soberly. “But...you should come back. I know things are complicated, but there’s so much you’ve missed. Everyone’s been so upset since you left. Katara has sent out wave after wave of search parties after she caught on that you weren’t coming back to Kyoshi. You’re lucky I promised you I wouldn’t give you up, because I don’t take back my promises - I considered it very long and hard before I kept your secret though.” Her gaze was steely as she spoke somberly. “But it is your decision to come back, just like it was your decision to leave. I just want you to be aware of the impact you’ve had on the people who love you most.”

Sokka closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. She was right. But everything was so different. He was different. He had learned so much, and changed mentally and physically. He wasn’t sure what he was anymore, other than mother to two rambunctious twins, and well-liked herbalist. 

“I understand.” He said, opening his eyes and looking at her. He inhaled deeply and let it all out, “Thank you for being so loyal to your promise, though you didn’t owe it to me at all. And you are no longer obligated to keep it. Just...let me have some time to settle into where I am now, before you send in the forces.

Ty Lee’s solemn face was not a comfort, but she didn’t seem upset with him any longer. “Well...anyway I am glad you’re here. Just know that you’re still loved.” She then gestured to their surroundings, “And hopefully you have everything you’ll need for your work here. If you find you’re missing anything, send word to the crown and they will get it for you.”

“Speaking of which. You’re not the reason I’m-”

“Of course not. The decision was made by the Fire Lord and Lady based on the recommendation by the Earth King.” She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her. “I’m honestly offended you think I would have plotted against you.”

“Sorry. I just...I needed to check.” Sokka said, thoroughly chastised. “I didn’t mean to imply...I mean...I wasn’t going to be mad if you had. I just wanted to know that I was here because…”   


“You’re amazing at what you do, Sokka. Nana taught you well, clearly. As did the herbalist in Ba Sing Se who took over from you - they said you had worked with her previously.”

Sokka nodded. “Ina was amazing. She built on what Nana had already taught me and we grew our practice from there until we were asked to move up in the city. She declined but insisted I go in her stead.”

“You’re here on your own merit, Sokka. Not because of anything else. Don’t take that for granted. And...speak up sooner rather than later, yeah?” Her eyes plead with him and he had to look away as he agreed.

“I will...I will.” He said.

“I have to go report in for afternoon drills, but we’ll see one another again. I expect your schedule will fill quickly. We haven’t had a quality herbalist in the area in ages.”

He laughed. “Okay. And...Ty Lee?” He said, as she was turning to leave the house. “Thank you. For everything.”

She tipped her head back with a sigh, her long braid dangling past her waist. “Oh, please. Don’t thank me. I didn’t do anything but let you know you’ve still got friends. But you’re welcome.” She grinned before bidding him farewell and leaving the property.

He watched her leave until he heard a crash, and twin voices calling back “We’re fine!” He sighed and closed the door, going to check on the twins to see what trouble they’d caused already.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. Thank you so much for being patient. This winter kicked my ass as far as my depression goes, so not a lot got done on any front. Terrible time for writer's block when deciding to completely rewrite a chapter.
> 
> Which, is what this is. A complete rewrite of a rewritten chapter. At least this time I'm happy with the flow. Anyway, thanks again for waiting and for reading and all your lovely comments and Kudos! You're all wonderful and I am so grateful for your feedback!

Work began simply. A few people from the city came by to inspect his work throughout the week. Sokka had been pleasantly surprised at the well-stocked storage and abundant crop of herbs in the garden already. 

It wasn’t long, however, before Sokka received his first formal invitation to see the Fire Lord and Lady in the palace.

The hawk came while the twins were in school. He closed the door to his workshop and locked everything up, placing a sign on his fence as he left, indicating he would not be taking patients for the rest of the day and, if it was serious, to send word to the palace immediately.

He was dressed in a forest- and pale-green hanbok with elaborate stitching on the sleeves - one of Sokka’s favorite things to wear. It allowed for freedom of movement, as well as hid his form under layers of fabric. His best shined shoes were on his feet and a small pouch was tied at his waist. Sokka’s hair was pulled back in a braid reaching his waist. A few stray hairs fell around his face, and he pushed them back behind his ears, only to have them fall forward once more. He begrudgingly gave up on them and made his way to the gates of the palace..

He took a steeling breath before handing his invitation to the guard to grant him access. The walk to the throne room, where he was to meet the Fire Lord and Lady, was both anxiously long and far too short. He had no time to prepare himself and far too much time to worry about the upcoming interaction. It didn’t help that his guide was silent as a stone and about as enthusiastic. All too soon he was let into the throne room. 

It was empty.

This did not help his nerves in the slightest. He was left alone as the guards stepped back outside the doors. The large empty space was warm with reds and golds, pillars reaching up and up into the ceiling, taller than most buildings Sokka had seen. He looked around at the walls, and the two thrones in front of him. Behind the thrones hung a large embroidered mural of the Fire Nation countryside. It was beautiful and he stared at it in awe, looking at the intricate stitches and details. You could almost see the individual blades of grass and leaves on the trees of the mountainside. And were those tiny pigsheep?

Sokka was only broken from his musing when someone coughed behind him, alerting him to the fact that he had unknowingly made his way  _ behind _ the thrones to inspect the work of art. He blushed bright red and apologized, walking back to where he had been instructed to stand when he’d been left on his own. The servant then announced the occupants of the room.

“The Fire Lord Zuko and the Fire Lady Mai have entered the Throne Room. Before them is the renowned Herbalist Navi of the Earth Kingdom.” The servant bowed and stepped back to the side as Zuko and Mai took their seats on their thrones. 

When he last seen Zuko, the boy had been an awkward, teenage boy-king. His face had still held a boyish quality, though it had been hardened by the war and his banishment - to say nothing of the scar that marred the left side of his face.

That awkward boy-king was no more. In front of Sokka sat the chiseled face of a ruler. A commander of his people and a face people respected. Square jaw covered by a stately (but not overly long) beard, and lips quirked into a half-smile. Sokka fell head over heels once more for the man in front of him, just as he had eight years ago in the moonlight at the beach house, whether he’d admitted it to himself at that time or not. The gold of his eyes sparkled in the red light of the throne room, his black hair swept off his face into the elegant topknot and crown of the Fire Lord. It exposed his scar, which didn’t seem quite so angry red anymore, though it was clearly stark against the rest of his flawless pale skin.

Beside him was Mai. While her surly scowl had not lifted from her face, she was still as exceptionally beautiful as she had been. Dangerously gorgeous with lily-pale skin and features as sharp as the blades she fought so expertly with. Her eyes were narrow and glittered in the light of the room. 

He hoped that they couldn’t see through the years at the scrawny boy who had matured into a weird hybrid of man stuck with a woman’s body for the safety of his children. He could hardly call himself a man, the way he looked after carrying twins. The years hadn’t even gifted him with more than peach fuzz for a beard. And what little he had he kept shaved off his face for the sake of his disguise. Because who would want to know that he was a freak like this?

He coughed awkwardly as silence reigned over the figures in the room. “Um. Hello there. Your highnesses.” He added, remembering the proper address for the royalty in the room.

Mai’s lips, painted deep red, quirked into a small smile. “Thank you for coming to see us on such short notice. I understand you left quite a lucrative practice back in the Earth Kingdom.”

Sokka nodded curtly. “My tutor there has taken over in my stead, and she is far better than I at the job.” He smiled fondly at the thought of Ina taking over for all the royalty back in Ba Sing Se. He wished he could be a fly on the wall for some of her appointments just to see the looks on the faces of the upper class citizens when she addressed them.

“You did come to us highly recommended.” Zuko said, his voice deep and authoritative - husky, as though he’d breathed in the smoke of a thousand braziers over the years. It sent a shiver up Sokka’s spine as he remembered the night they shared so long ago but he pushed the memory out of his mind. “We have a very sensitive matter that we would like to consult you on. You would not be at liberty to say anything about it outside of the two of us. It is of great importance however and we would be most grateful for any advice or help you could give us.” Zuko continued. Sokka nodded. He’d had similar conversations with the upper class and royalty of Ba Sing Se. He was very good at being discreet.

“Of course, your highness.” He tipped his head in acknowledgement. “I would be happy to help you with whatever you need.”

Zuko waved a hand and the servant who had entered with them left out of the side door. The three were alone. Mai stood then and approached Sokka on her own.

She stood in front of him and she was even more lovely up close. Her features were fine and delicate, sharp though they were. She had the faintest amount of makeup on, outside of the lipstick she wore. Her hair was pulled up into an elegant looped bun on the back of her head, and she smelled faintly of bergamot and sandalwood. Sokka glanced down at his feet, feeling suddenly shy. 

Once he had been thoroughly measured, she hummed quietly. “I would speak with you in a private meeting later this week, if possible. You seem trustworthy enough for this matter. And this requires the utmost discretion.”

“Of course, my lady.” Sokka bowed slightly. “I don’t exactly know anyone to tell.” His lips quirked up at the corners and his eyebrows raised as he look at Mai. Her thin lips pursed together, and she sniffed.

“Hmm. Well, certainly it helps. As long as you are no gossip you will do fine. And I have heard great stories of your ability to keep information to yourself.” She said, turning on her heel and walking back to her husband.

Sokka nodded, “As you wish, my lady.” 

“If you would, please follow us to a more...comfortable place to speak on such sensitive matters.” Zuko gestured towards the doors. Sokka followed the pair, who joined arms to escort one another ahead of him. The guards stood at attention as the trio passed by them, coming up behind Sokka. His hair stood on end, having someone following him, but he continued stiff-backed down the corridor to a more intimate sitting room. 

The guards were stationed outside of this smaller room, while Mai sat down on the large settee, Zuko coming to rest beside her. They gestured to an armchair across from the couch for Sokka to sit in. He tucked his skirt under himself as he settled into the over-plush chair. He sank too far in and flailed for a moment, his feet having lost touch with the ground as the piece of furniture attempted to eat him. He squawked quietly before righting himself. Zuko hid a laugh behind a cough, and Mai didn’t bother trying to hide her smile as she leaned forward to pour tea for herself and her husband.

“Tea, Miss Navi?”

“Ah, yes please.” Sokka said, settling his hands as a nervous tangle in his lap as he watched her pour the tea slowly from the pot. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“So...what...what is the situation exactly? If I may ask?” Sokka said, doing his best to keep his voice level, though the proximity to two old friends was not easy on his nerves. 

“Hmm, well...as Fire Lord and Lady, there are certain...obligations expected. Erm. In the way of…” Zuko turned bright red and hid his face behind his tiny tea cup.

Mai sighed and rolled her eyes. “What my husband means to say is that there is outside pressure for the two of us to have heirs to the throne. Especially as there are no other options.”   
  
“Ah, I see.” Sokka hummed, picking up his tea cup and holding the warm ceramic between his palms. He’d dealt with similar situations before - infertility was a hell of a condition for women who were not only obligated to procreate, but also truly wished to do so. He could understand a young woman of Mai’s age being uncomfortable with the situation.

“And, frankly, I’m just not interested in carrying children. Or ever having sex.” Mai said, cutting off Sokka’s train of thought.

He paused, his teacup in front of his lips, and blinked at her. He took a small sip and brought the cup back down to rest in his lap. “That’s…”

She waved her hand. “What we need from you is a believable diagnosis that makes it seem like it’s just not going to happen - but like we’re also trying.” She stared straight into Sokka’s eyes, and it felt like he was being stripped down and bared to a wild animal. “And if you’re not on board to help with this, we can drop you and get someone else as quickly as we got you here.”

Sokka swallowed thickly and nodded. “You have my word that I will not speak to anyone about this. Now, there are some teas that can increase fertility, many of which are well known and fairly inconspicuous. I can also create a few tinctures that would do something similar. They’re virtually harmless to anyone who isn’t looking to have a baby anytime soon, as long as you’re not...ah, intimate with anyone, and from what you’ve said should not be a concern for the two of you,” He asked, forcing a blush from his cheeks. He couldn’t have ever imagined having this sort of conversation in a million years. Not with Mai and Zuko at least.

Mai’s eyes were narrow, but her mouth quirked upwards at the corners. “Indeed.” 

“Then we should have no problem making this look as convincing as possible. Of course, if you start experiencing issues with the teas or tinctures, I’ll create placebo versions instead so we don’t make you uncomfortable or ill.” Sokka said, setting his tea down. “I can arrange for these to be delivered to the palace weekly. I’m sure it wouldn’t be tricky to arrange someone to bring them here.”   
  
“Oh, we’ll need to have weekly appointments with you, so I would place us on your schedule at, say four on Thursdays? To make sure I know how to take the medications and how things are progressing.”

Sokka blinked. “You mean...me come here? Every week?” 

“That is what I said, isn’t it Zuko?” Mai turned to Zuko and he nodded. “Every week. Just for a short visit.”

“Ah...that’s...that will work.” Sokka bobbed his head, biting his lip as he realized this was to be a long-term arrangement. How long would he be able to keep up his charade in front of his friends? “Ah, and speaking of schedules, I believe it is time for me to return home - my children will be home from school soon.” He stood, nearly falling back into the chair once more, before getting his feet underneath him properly. He shook out his skirt before bowing to the royalty on the couch. “And thank you for your generosity with my family. I am more than happy to be at your service in gratitude for everything you have given us.”

“Of course, Miss Navi. I will see you on Thursday at four.” Mai said, also standing so she could lead him from the room. The guards escorted Sokka from the sitting room to the palace gates where he continued on his own, deep in thought.   
  


* * *

 

Thursday came, as days tend to come, early with birds singing and there was a distinct lack of caffeine in Sokka’s system when Kodai and Kanna attacked him in his bed.

“Momma, momma, momma!” They chanted, alternating between one another as they bounced Sokka up and down.

“Urgh....what’s wrong? What’s happening?” Sokka waved his arm around, his eyes still closed, sealed with sleep goo. The twins were experts at dodging his arms when he was like this. 

“It’s  _ morning. _ ” Kodai said, rolling to lay next to Sokka, snuggling into his side. Sokka’s arm wrapped around his son, pulling him tight next to him as his other arm reached for Kanna, pulling her down with him as well.

“You have an excellent point.” Sokka mumbled, snuggling his children close to him. “And I suppose you’re somehow both starving even though I fed you dinner last night, am I right?”

“Of course we are, m’ma!” Kanna said, affronted, “Dinner was a whole  _ day _ ago. We have to have breakfast now.”

Sokka sighed, lamenting that his bed was so soft before he scooped both children up and bodily carried them out of his bedroom, to the delighted giggles of the twins.

He cooked them breakfast as the two chattered together about the upcoming day, and recapping the previous one. They had taken well to the Fire Nation school system, and were quickly making fast friends with their peers - something for which Sokka thanked every spirit he could think of and a few more for good measure.

He couldn’t have lived with himself if he had uprooted his children only to have them miserable and isolated.

The twins quickly wrapped up their meals and sent themselves off to get dressed while Sokka contemplated his own upcoming day.

A private meeting with the Fire Lady, in the palace. The Fire Lady, Mai, the wife of the Fire Lord, Zuko. Zuko, the father of Sokka’s children. Mai, who didn’t want children. Mai, who needed to appear as if she was going to have children. 

Sokka glanced over at his herb-bag resting on a small table near the door. Inside he already had several tea blends, tinctures, and potions put together to offer to her ladyship. All of them were fairly inconspicuous. Dried leaves of the nettle and red raspberry plants blended together for better health and wellness prior to and during pregnancy. Red clover held a spot as another tea, and was mixed again with the nettle in a tincture. Three potions, chaste tree berry, lepidium meyenii root, and more red clover to promote fertility and reduce stress. The tincture was held together with evening primrose oil, and the potions were brewed with dong quai root.

And unless the Fire Lady was allergic to any of the ingredients, there would be no issue with her taking any of them with no intention of becoming pregnant. 

As the children finished up their morning routines, Sokka decided he should get started on his day as well. He went into his room and picked out a dress that best accentuated his feminine features, covering his well muscled arms, softening his shoulders, and accentuating his wide hips and small bosom. It was of the upper-ring style, close fitting silk with wide sleeves and a high collar buttoned up, much like the dresses Katara and Toph had worn when they snuck into the Earth King’s palace on his first trip to Ba Sing Se.

He wrapped the silk around his body, covering the scars of battle and childhood, the stretch marks from carrying his children on his soft belly and fastened the buttons all the way up to his neck. He reached up and with deft hands spun his hair into a reasonable topknot, which he finished off with a length of silk ribbon and a decorated comb he’d bought after one of his first upper ring clients had paid him for his services. The green helped wash out his skin and foreign features, helping him blend into the pale-skinned high society types. In seconds he was ready for his day, and he met his children in the foyer of the home.

“Alright you two, give mama a spin and let me make sure you’re both presentably dressed.” He said, spinning his finger around in a circle. The twins giggled and complied, Kanna spinning around on one toe like a dancer, and Kodai with his arms out, spinning around and around like a maple seed.

Kanna’s uniform was tidy, a bright red that suited her Fire Nation features. The gold and black accents of the school’s insignia made her own amber eyes dance. Kodai’s uniform was reverse colored to Kanna’s, in all black with red and gold accents instead. It was slightly rumpled from having stayed on the floor all night.

“Okay, you look passable I suppose,” Sokka narrowed his eyes playfully. “Who wants their hair done first?” Kanna’s hand shot up into the air as she launched herself at Sokka’s knees. Kodai grinned and pressed his hand against his bedhead mop of hair.

“I’m good, Mama! I already brushed my hair!” He said, cheekily as though Sokka wouldn’t notice that a comb hadn’t touched that hair since the previous morning.

“Hmm, well...Kanna, how about I get Kodai’s hair first, since it’ll go quickly and then I braid yours?” Kanna sighed, flopping against Sokka’s side.

“Fiiiiine.” He petted her sleep braid with one hand as he reached for Kodai.

“Come here, Kodai. Let me give it a look and see how well you did.” Sokka pressed his lips together in vain effort to hide a grin as Kodai’s look of triumph faded into a grimmace of distaste. 

“Mama-” Kodai dragged the last syllable out as he begrudgingly stepped towards his mother. Sokka pulled him around by the wrist gently and turned him away from Sokka. He pulled his fingers gently through Kodai’s hair, snagging on tangles in the process. “Owch.”

“Hmm, I think you should try brushing this one more time.” Sokka said, picking up the brush off the counter and running it through Kodai’s fine hair. He deftly worked through all the knots, and wrapped it up into a high topknot, as was fashionable for the children in the area. It was simple, much like Sokka’s own had been when the group had hid in the Fire Nation, all those years ago. He patted Kodai on the shoulder, “You’re all done now. Very handsome.” Sokka said, as Kodai wrinkled his nose and scratched at his hairline.

Kanna bounced up and down, “Me next, me next!”

“Yes, yes.” Sokka laughed as he shuffled her around in front of him. His fingers worked deftly to separate her hair into four sections. The two top sections became buns, almost perfectly spherical due to his years of practice, not only on his daughter but when Katara had been too young to do her own hair Sokka had filled in his mother’s place. The bottom two sections were pinned below the buns, and braided down to the very ends. When he finished, Kanna felt the plaits eagerly and declared herself pretty enough to be a princess.

Sokka’s heart clenched briefly but he grinned as the twins, putting the brush up before gathering his herb bag and herding his children - who were now play wrestling - out the door.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven-year-olds are not to be trusted when near water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient!! Life has not been kind to me and it made writing and editing a lot harder than it needed to be. I appreciate every single one of you reading this, and those of you who found the time to comment/kudos. You all mean so much to me!
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter!!

Sokka made his usual rounds, after the children were dropped off at school. First there was the group of ladies at the local tea house, who all requested ointments for aching bones. At least an hour of his time was taken by them weekly, as they shared the gossip of the town and gushed over Sokka and his children. 

Then there were the housewives who received various hangover remedies for their husbands. He took note of which ones also received bruise ointment, and made sure to assert that if there were to be anything they needed, to come to his house or shop immediately. He could only do so much, and wished desperately that he could do more.

And finally he visited the families on the edge of town, making sure all the family members were well, and taking orders for anything that those less fortunate would need in the coming week. 

Before long, the bells for the end of the school day rang and Sokka walked to the gates to gather Kanna and Kodai. The rushed to him, tackling him around the middle and he was grateful for his years of battle and training to help him stay upright as he took about 100 lbs to the waist. They were both giggling and quickly devolved into half sentences and excited rambling about their day, each raising their voice over the other.

“Stop, stop!” Sokka laughed, “My ears are full!” He stroked both of their hair. “So I take it another good day at school?”

“Oh, yes, M’ma!” Kanna cooed bouncing as she swung hers and Sokka’s hands between the two of them as they walked. “Very good.” Kodai nodded in agreement, his initial rush of talking having abated into his usual soft-spoken and near-taciturn nature.

“Well I am glad.” Sokka smiled and guided the two of them along. “I would tell you all about my day, but it’s not quite over yet. Would you two like to come with me to the Palace? The Fire Lady has asked to see me.”

Kanna gasped, her face brightening into a wide smile, “She’s, like, a princess-queen lady! Of  _ course _ I want to meet her!”

Kodai gripped Sokka’s hand a little tighter and Sokka squeezed it back comfortingly. “Now, Kanna, don’t get your hopes up too high. It’s very likely this is going to be a very quick trip and she may ask that the two of you sit outside while I speak to her. I do know, however, that she is a very nice lady, and if you two are very very good I may ask the man at the candy stand for a couple of treats for being kind, patient, and polite.” The twins were fervent in their promises to be on their absolute best behavior.

Not that they had much of a choice. The only person Sokka would have felt comfortable leaving the two of them with was Ty Lee and she was a part of the royal guard. Not exactly the best choice for a babysitter while Sokka went about his business. He trusted the twins but didn’t enjoy leaving them home alone. Besides, the trip to the house and back to the palace would have made him late for his appointment.

The three walked down the street, Kanna occasionally breaking her grasp on Sokka’s hand to skip a little farther down the lane and back, her braids bouncing with her movement. Kodai was looking around with the same wide eyes that he had used to observe the world since he came into it. Sokka smiled and pulled in a deep breath through his nose before releasing it slowly, contentedly.

Sure, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to a private meeting with Mai, but he was safe, his children were safe, they were financially stable, and maybe here he could start living again.

* * *

When they came to the palace gates, the guards cooed over the children. Kanna soaked up every bit of attention she got from the strong women in their Fire Nation-styled Kyoshi Warrior garb. Sokka smiled and shook his head lovingly.

“I’m here to visit with her majesty, the Fire Lady Mai,” Sokka announced, gently interrupting the women fussing over his daughter.

“Oh yes, you must be the new herbalist. Welcome! I’ll lead you to her.” One of them said, motioning with her hand to lead Sokka and the twins into the palace grounds. They walked through the palace halls until they came to a beautiful courtyard surrounded by breezeways.

The trees were in bloom and tiny petals snowed down on the quartet as they made their way to the small pond in the middle of the courtyard. Beside the pond, sitting in quiet repose was Mai. She smiled tightly as she stood from her reclining position against the base of one of the trees so she could greet the guard, Sokka and the children.

“Good afternoon, Navi. I did not expect you to bring your children along with you.” She said, her voice tight and stilted as she addressed Sokka. Sokka forced the frown away from his face before it could show. 

“I apologize, your highness. I do not currently have anyone in the area I trust with the care of my children.”

“They are a bit older than I anticipated. I thought you could leave them home alone while we had our meeting.”

Sokka was less and less inclined to be polite as their conversation went on. “My lady, if you do pardon my saying so, they are  _ seven _ . And, frankly, if you’re familiar with anyone under the age of 20, you’ll know children should not be allowed to run about anywhere without supervision.”

Mai’s face pinched and her eyes went narrow. Sokka thanked the spirits that his children were distracted by the turtle ducks and their ducklings. 

“Navi, I am not sure I appreciate your assumption that children should not be well behaved without someone looking after them. In fact I would dispute this fact wholeheartedly and let you know that at seven years old I was already mature enough to keep my tongue to myself when my thoughts differed from my betters. Something I believe you were not taught. Perhaps your attitude was well received in the Earth Kingdom, but I will not be disrespected in my own palace.”

Sokka bowed his head, mildly sarcastically, “My lady, I do apologize for the sleight against your own nature and beg you to forgive me.” His tone was not lost on her, but to deny his apology was against her station, “I unfortunately do not have the pleasure of having known a child who is mature enough on their own to be allowed to run about without supervision and not somehow end up in a war. I know I was one such precocious being.”

The mention of the war softened Mai’s countenance a little. “Perhaps I have reacted too harshly. I am much more used to children of standing and not those of the common folk as yourself.” Sokka was really being pushed to not snap at her constant dismissive evaluation of his character and being based on the fact that he was an herbalist. She had requested him after all. How could she assume he was anything less than professional when it mattered?

“I understand.” He said, tersely. “Besides, they seem to be very well occupied with the pond life than with either of us.” He gestured in their direction and smiled at them when they looked up and waved, giggling and pointing to the turtle ducks. He nodded and they turned back to their discussion of the ducks.

“It...it is only you who takes care of them? Where is their father?” Mai asked, a sudden hesitance and softness in her voice that took Sokka off guard. He very nearly answered honestly before he caught himself.

“He...I never told him I was...that I was pregnant. And he had other things to attend to after the war.” Sokka shrugged his shoulder and pretended to be more dismissive than he was. “It hasn’t been so bad. I had plenty of help from my mentor and the woman who helped bring them into the world, as well as my second mentor who taught me the matters of business. Ina, who took over my practice in the upper ring of the Earth Kingdom after I left to come here, essentially became their grandmother.”

“And your family?”

Sokka wanted to screw up his face against her invasive questions. This was not how this meeting was supposed to go. He wanted to shove the small jars of teas into her hands and tell her good luck. Then take his children and run as far away as possible. This was the most prying he’d had into his background since his ill-fated journey to Ba Sing Se.

“My lady, I beg you to tell me who came out of the war with their family intact? Certainly not myself. I have been alone these seven years with only the help of mentors as a safety net. My children are all I have in this world today.” Sokka settled on, his face calm as he stared back at the pond, watching Kodai and Kanna play with the turtle ducks.

Mai was silent and Sokka inwardly sighed with relief. He took in the courtyard, the lush green grass, the flowering trees, the smell of springtime, the buzzing of insects, the giggles and shrieks of his children.

And then everything changed when the Fire Lord arrived.

Zuko’s voice came across the courtyard from the edge of one of the breezeways. Sokka’s heart skipped a beat but he couldn’t take much more note of that because at that very second, Kanna pushed Kodai too hard and he stumbled backwards into the pond. Kodai splashed wildly as he tried to get his bearings and Kanna squealed with laughter, rolling onto her back and kicking her legs as she took delight in her brother’s misfortune. 

Sokka had to act quickly to keep everything under control. This was the absolute  _ last _ thing he needed for this meeting with the Fire Lady.

“Kanna!” He snapped, putting on his war-leader voice to get the two under control as he helped Kodai out of the pond. He was soaking wet and dripping everywhere. Sokka kneeled in the grass in front of his son and wiped his face with the edge of his sleeve. The boy coughed a little, but seemed to be only wet and embarrassed. “Children, both of you should know better! Kanna apologize to your brother right now!”

Beside the three of them stood Fire Lord Zuko, the side of his robes that had been closest to the pond were as wet as Kodai was. Kanna sobered quickly and stood up, apologizing softly to her brother and giving him a small hug. Sokka nearly caught the wicked gleam in his son’s eye before both of them fell backwards into the water once more.

Sokka’s arm went up to protect his face from the splash. “Oh spirits…” He grumbled as he watched the twins disrupt the pond water and the turtle ducks swim away quickly. He pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation and breathed out loudly through his nose.

He looked up from where he kneeled towards Zuko and felt his face flush. “I apologize for my children, milord.” He said, trying to keep his voice from cracking in embarrassment and irritation.

Zuko said nothing, his face was unreadable and it was a long few seconds before he shook himself out of whatever thought he was having and responded. “Ah...no it’s fine.” He said, putting his hands up in front of him. “I completely understand.”

Mai walked over slowly, trying and failing to hide her smile of amusement at the twin’s antics behind her hand. The twins were wrestling in the water and splashing back and forth at one another.

“Kids, please!” Sokka whined at the two of them.

Suddenly their playfight grew more intense. The water around Kanna started to steam a little and Kodai’s stance changed, the water around him starting to ripple back and forth.

“Oh no.” Sokka groaned. “No, no don’t do this right now.” He stood and reached towards them, but they were out of reach from the shore. “Oh spirits please not now,” He muttered before shouting at the two in his best stern mother voice, “No bending!”

The water stilled around the two children as they looked towards Sokka and the Fire Lord and Lady behind him. 

“Get back to shore right now you two.” He said, his voice brooking no nonsense from the two of them.

They sloshed back to shore, contrite and apologetic. They attempted to voice their apologies and Sokka simply shook his head. “I don’t want to hear it. You go stand over by the tree and  _ don’t touch each other _ . I will be right there and we are going to have a very serious discussion about this when we get home!” 

“Yes, mama.” They said in unison, doing as instructed with their faces downturned. Sokka scrubbed his hands over his face.

“Sometimes...I swear...just like their father.” He grumbled, as he had many times before. He sighed and apologized again to Zuko and Mai who were currently exchanging glances at one another. “I don’t know what’s gotten into them today. They’re usually much better when I make house calls with them in tow.” He explained.

“As you said earlier,” Mai replied, “They’re children.”

“They  _ know _ better. I’ve  _ taught _ them better.” He sighed. He wanted to give up and just cry. He stood slowly and straightened himself up, pulling his back taught and holding his head high as he addressed the sopping Fire Lord and his wife. “I will take Lady Mai’s advice and make sure I have someone watch them while I am here. You were correct, my lady. Children ought to know and behave better.”

“They’re really not a trouble at all.” Zuko said. “There plenty of times growing up that we did the same thing. Didn’t we, Mai?”

She nodded, reluctantly. Sokka wished he didn’t feel so completely ashamed, because he would have wanted to crow with delight at the fact that Mai wasn’t so perfect and  _ had _ been a normal child at one point. “You do always know how to remind me of my humanity, Zuko. But you are right. We were hellions in our own time. Perhaps next time we don’t meet here in the courtyard.”

“I don’t want to impose.”   


“You’re doing us a great service, Navi. Besides, I’m fairly certain Uncle would be pleased to have small ones around on a more frequent basis. It would do him well to have some company that actually listens to him.” Zuko said, his face quirked into an awkward but exceedingly handsome half-smile.

Sokka nodded. Then he jumped into action, suddenly rooting through his bag of herbs and jars, pulling out the ones specifically for the Fire Lady. He gathered them together and awkwardly shoved them into her arms. “These should...make things easier for you both. If you...it’s tea.” He waved his arms weakly at the bottles, all of his usual professionalism having left him. “Boil water, steep the tea, and drink it. It’s...they’re supposed to help when...you know, normally. But they won’t have any effect on you if, well, if you’re not.” He shrugged, stopping his half-hearted flailing in explanation.

“Of course. Thank you for coming out. Next week at 4 will work for you again?” Sokka nodded, no longer trusting himself to speak a coherent sentence in front of the royals. “Then we will see you then.” Mai had stacked the jars neatly in her own arms, making it look effortless and far less ungainly than Sokka had moments before. 

“Thank you, your highnesses. I will see you next week.” Sokka bowed and went towards the tree, not looking forward to the scolding he was going to have to give the twins.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things have been going rather well - I finally /finally/ finished this damn chapter. And! I started on the next one. So there's that too. I hope to keep up this creative streak for as long as possible. Maybe one day I'll actually finish this story too!
> 
> As it is, please enjoy. I have very much appreicated all the comments and Kudos so far. You all are too lovely!!!

In the weeks that followed, Sokka settled into a routine. Every few days he would deliver supplies to those in need on the edge of the city. On a daily basis he was busy taking care of small injuries, seasonal allergies, and hangovers. 

He’d drawn the attention of several of the citizens of the Fire Nation capital, and they were very interested in the new herbalist in town. He was twenty-three and had two children so of course he stuck out a little. Plus he was good at his job, of that part he was proud.

He just wish less of his clients were  _ men _ of all people.

“Heyy, Navi, my Honey of Hangover Cures!” One of the many Li’s who lived in the area had dropped by. “How are you doing today?”

“Fine.” Sokka was curt with him, as he was with all men who came to his door looking for herbal remedies for various self-imposed maladies. “What do you need today?”

“Well, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to-”

“Herbal remedy or get out.” Sokka placed one hand on his hip and one menacingly on the counter in front of himself, glaring at the man. 

“Ay, ay, no need to be aggressive, though it  _ is _ an attractive -”

“Out.” Sokka pointed towards the door. “Don’t make me demand again.”

Li’s hands came up in front of him in surrender. “Alright, alright.” He said, laughing, “Just let me know if you ever wanna catch a drink sometimes.”

“OUT!”

The door swung shut, the small bell ringing with the force of it. Sokka sighed. That was the  _ fourth _ man he’d had come into his shop just to bother him,  _ today _ . He groaned and leaned on the counter with his head in his hands. Things would be so much easier if he could just be  _ himself _ .

The bell rang as a new customer came in, and he didn’t even bother looking up. “If you’re not here for help with a malady, get out of my store.” He grumbled into his arms.

“Well, I’ll be damned if that’s how you treat me!” Ty Lee squawked at him, her hands on her hips. Sokka sighed with relief and came out from behind the counter. 

“Oh, goodness. I am so glad it’s you!” He said, coming forward to embrace her. She welcomed it.

“Yeah, that’s what most people say when they see me.” She giggled. “How have you been adjusting?”

Sokka sighed, “Well enough, I suppose. The children have taken to the Fire Nation like polar bear-pups to snow.” He pulled back and held her elbows as they conversed.

“That’s fantastic! And yourself?”

“Less well. I mean...the work is fine, and everyone is very friendly-” He thought for a second before continuing, “Some more friendly than others, unfortunately.”

“Well that’s what happens when you’re such a cutie!” She tittered at him and he resisted the urge to flinch at the compliment.

“Honestly, I’m not. And I wish other people would just come in for business and leave me to myself.” He sighed.

“Oh, am I imposing now?”

“Oh no! Not you. You’re more than welcome to come into the store. It’s the  _ men _ I have issues with.” Sokka groaned, rolling his eyes. “They’re so…”

“Yeah, well, now you know what it’s like!” Ty Lee stuck her tongue out and Sokka stared at her. She was exceptionally gorgeous, so of course she was likely used to the attention.

“I’ve known what it’s like for seven years, thanks.” He said with a humorless smile. 

Ty Lee waved him off, “Oh like you even have an idea. You were probably living it up, loving the attention from all the men for the time you were in Ba Sing Se. That’s where all the hotties live.”

Sokka tried very hard not to look uncomfortable. He wouldn’t have exactly described the men in Ba Sing Se as good looking, nor would he have appreciated any of their advances if they  _ had _ been attractive. 

“Sokka-er, Navi?” Ty Lee asked, as Sokka had apparently been quiet too long.

“Sorry.” He smiled, his face pleasantly blank, “Just thinking about all those cute guys, you know?”

Ty Lee’s face crinkled as she stared at and around him, before she nodded to herself. “Okay. I have to go now. I wanted to stop in and make sure you were doing alright. I’ll try and come by more often when I’m not on duty.”

“Okay. Take care.” They hugged again, and she left out the door, throwing another look back at him. Sokka did his best to look as fine as he didn’t feel. He hoped it worked, but Ty Lee always had a way of knowing when someone was being untruthful about their feelings.

No sooner was she out of sight than did the door open once again. Sokka seemed to be quite popular today.

In front of him was another of the Kyoshi Warriors, this one still wearing the traditional green and gold uniform. She stood tall, her hair pulled into a loose tail at the back of her head. “Good morning, Herbalist Navi.”

“Good morning.” Sokka greeted with a polite smile. “What can I do for you today, ma’am.”

“I have been sent to invite you formally to the palace to meet with Fire Lady Mai. She has requested that you bring your children so that General Iroh can host a tea party.” The warrior’s lips quirked into a strangely familiar smile. “I am to escort you to the palace.”

“Give me a moment so I can close up shop and gather them up, we can be on our way.” He said, gesturing as he spoke to the relevant areas of shop and house, a habit he had never quite gotten rid of, despite it being detrimental to the safety of many glass jars and vials over the years.

“Of course. I shall wait for you outside.” She bowed her head, her hands placed behind her, before she turned on her heel to exit.

He did as he said, locking the shop door and placing the sign in his window instructing customers to go to the doctor if they were concerned about anything worrisome. He then left through the back door behind the counter into the house. 

The children were collected quickly, as the prospect of going to the palace again was truly exciting. He’d managed to make his visits with the Fire Lady shorter and earlier than the first time so that the children wouldn’t be there. Sokka did stand them in front of him and gave them a strict warning to be on their best behavior while they were there. They promised solemnly they would be good and they stepped out of the house.

The Kyoshi Warrior was speaking to another, red-clad warrior in the street. The one in red stood at attention in front of the green-clad warrior before saluting and going on her way. The warrior then turned towards Sokka and the children, taking them in for a second in shock before composing herself and gesturing they follow her to the palace.

* * *

 

They met Fire Lady Mai in the palace this time. She was accompanied by General Iroh, who looked as well as he ever had, rosy in the cheeks and grinning from ear to ear when he caught sight of the children.

They were brought right in front of the pair before the Kyoshi Warrior introduced them. “Your guests, Lady Mai.”

Mai rolled her eyes, “How many times, Suki, do I have to remind you it’s just Mai.” 

Sokka’s heart stuttered. He’d forgotten Suki would likely still be working in the Fire Nation. 

Suki’s face was playful as she responded, “Yes, Lady Mai.” The longsuffering look Mai shot at her was reminiscent of old times and Sokka’s insides clenched at how much hadn’t changed since he’d been gone.

“Navi, this is General Iroh. Uncle, this is Navi, the herbalist.”

“How wonderful it is to meet you finally, Miss Navi.” He took Sokka’s hand and kissed it gently. Sokka knew it was meant to be playful, and it wasn’t like he didn’t trust the older man, but sense memory made his skin crawl uncomfortably. He composed himself and accepted the greeting.

“And you too, General Iroh.” Sokka then gestured to his children, extricating his hand as politely as he could to do so. “These are my children. Kanna, the girl, and Kodai is the boy.”

“Such wonderful, strong names!” Iroh said, a kind smile on his face as he turned to address the children. “And I am to understand that while your mother speaks to her Ladyship, I will be allowed to have the pleasure of having you both for tea.” The children were taken in by the silly older man and went with him without hesitation or a look in Sokka’s direction.

He watched them, a parent’s worry gnawing at him, regardless of how safe he knew they would be in Iroh’s care. “They will be fine, Navi.” Mai said softly. “Uncle is exceptionally good with children.”   


“I know.” Sokka sighed. “Anyway, is there something wrong with your tea this week? I was only here a couple of days ago.”

“Nothing is wrong with it. It’s actually very tasty. Uncle- ah...General Iroh that is, has been very put out that all I needed was apparently just a tea. He thinks he may have been able to help sooner. He is...not aware of the situation Zuko and I are in.”

“Or is it that he is aware of the situation you and the Fire Lord are pretending to be in?” Sokka asked, off-handedly, not looking directly at the Fire Lady and instead glancing at a portrait on the wall of some long dead royal figure. They shared the same sharp golden eyes and strong facial features that Ozai and now Zuko had grown into, the difference being that this was very clearly a woman.

Sokka could feel the glare Mai leveled at him searing into the side of his face. He glanced at her and her face was contemplative, brows creased together and her eyes less of a glare and more of a questioning squint.  Sokka coughed to clear his throat and turned towards Mai, away from the long-gone backs of the General and his children. “So, if everything is going well, why bring me here not two days after I delivered it?”

“I wished to speak with you.”

Sokka snorted, his face contorting in a less dignified grimace, “Clearly. About what?”

“You’re not one for the royal dramatic are you?” Mai’s voice dropped to its old monotone, her eyes verbally rolling as well as physically. “Probably for the best.” Sokka still looked at her, confused. A knot of anxiety lodged itself firmly in the pit of his stomach as he tried to remain nonchalant outwardly. Mai released a long-suffering sigh, “As you know, my marriage to my husband is more of convenience and friendship than actual romance or intimacy. Zuko hasn’t said anything but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s...unfulfilled.”

Sokka’s nerves were fraying as she spoke. What on earth was she going on about?

“Anyway, he’s allowed himself to  _ finally _ take notice of someone. That someone, of course, is you.”

The pit in Sokka’s stomach dropped to his feet and his palms became sweaty. “What?”

“He’s too polite to say anything, of course.” Mai waved her hand to the side as if dismissing her husband even though he wasn’t even there. “Well, too polite to approach you, anyway. So I’ve taken it upon myself to speak to you about it.” She glanced at Sokka and raised her eyebrows at him, though her eyes never changed from being half-lidded in disinterest. “So, what would you say to being wooed by the Fire Lord?”

“Um.” Well that certainly hadn’t been where Sokka thought she was taking this. He blinked at her owlishly as he tried to process what Mai had just said. “Wait...what?”

Mai sighed, before droning on, “My husband, the Fire Lord, thinks you are attractive and funny and would like to get to know you better, with the intention of pursuing a romantic relationship with you - potentially with the end result of a physical relationship depending on how things go. Are you okay with that?” Her patronizing tone was noticed but ignored by Sokka in favor of his rapid heartbeat and sudden anxiety as what she was telling him hit him square in the solar plexus.

Sokka felt out of breath and a little faint as he responded. “Um. Do I...I mean? Is there a way I can…? Not that I’m not...er. Hang on.” He stuttered and stumbled over his words as he flapped his hands about uselessly in front of himself, trying to collect his thoughts.

Mai seemed vaguely amused, “He doesn’t know I was planning on approaching you - if he had his way, he likely would have never said anything but I care about the fool enough to see when something would be a good distraction. And I think you would be just the right kind of distraction. You are sweet, attempt to be humorous, you snark, and you happen to be very pretty.” Sokka tried very hard to hide his flinch at the mention of his appearance.

“Right…” He nodded. 

“You’re uncomfortable. What’s wrong? Most people would be thrilled at the prospect of being romanced by my husband.” Mai, always straight to the point, Sokka pressed his lips together in a rueful smile.

“It has been a while since I have been approached with genuine interest, and not just...shallow appreciation.” He finally settled as a response. “I am flattered, don’t get me wrong. It’s just come as a surprise and I’m not sure what I should say.”

Mai rolled her eyes so hard, Sokka could almost feel it despite the two feet of distance between their shoulders. “Speak your mind! I detest that everyone seems to walk on eggshells around Zuko and me. We’re people just as you are.”

“Yes, just simple people, living in a palace with the power to do as you wish and make laws and rules as you please.” Sokka snipped back at her, forgetting himself, “There are no consequences at all for displeasing royalty, of course. No one has ever been thrown in jail, put on trial, killed, or  _ banished _ for disobeying an order or request from the Fire Lord.”

Mai’s lips pursed, and she was silent long enough for Sokka to remember exactly with whom he was speaking. This was not just a sullen girl who came from a noble family who had a dark sense of humor. This was the  _ Fire Lady _ . The Fire Lady who had just requested that he consider being in a relationship with her husband - the Fire Lord.

Sokka’s hand flew to his mouth and he squeezed his eyes shut, overcoming the wave of nausea that swept over him in his anxiety, “Oh  _ fuck _ . I’m sorry I forgot…”

“Don’t apologize. It would be stupid of me to reprimand you for that after specifically asking for you to stop pussy-footing around me.” She sighed. “I should have known better than to ask for your honest thoughts and expect a less vitriolic answer.” She turned towards Sokka and reached her hand out. He looked down at it and then took it in his opposite hand, grasping her in a firm hold. “I applaud your candor and I understand the internal struggle you were having with regards to answering me correctly or incorrectly. I will make myself plain - there is no incorrect answer. I was simply wanting to see if you were interested before I encouraged Zuko to pursue something with you. I do not wish to make you uncomfortable with your position here. Zuko is an attractive figure, not just in appearances. I would wish for someone who could appreciate the man underneath the station and not just look to this as an opportunity to advance oneself further. This...was a bit of a test I must admit. I did not realize how this could have come across and that is my apology. Sometimes I don’t believe I’ve grown up from the teenager I once was.”

Sokka nodded, her slender hand fitting in his as comfortably as you like. His own was not much bigger, though he had noticeable calluses and scars not only from his day to day duties but also from before, during the war. Hers were soft, delicate, and smooth - unmarred by battle and fighting as compared to his own. Though, he knew she must have a few silvery scars on her hands from her knives, there were none to be felt as he grasped her hand in the prelude to a handshake.

“Thank you. For the...that whole bit.” He waved his other hand vaguely beside him as if gesturing towards the spoken words. He thought to himself for a moment as she stared at him, waiting for more to come from him.

It wasn’t as if he was against having a relationship with Zuko. To be honest, he had regretted every day since their night together, only in that he wished there had been more between them. That he could have been honest with his feelings back then. That he had made better choices.

He could never regret the events that led to Kanna and Kodai coming into his life. He loved the two of them to pieces. Perhaps if he were with Zuko again, they could have their father in their life. Maybe Sokka could get to the point where he could tell Zuko the twins were his. Maybe he could become Sokka again, and leave Navi and her struggles in the past.

Mai was staring at him and Sokka realized he’d been quiet for quite some time. He chose his next words very carefully, “I think I would be open to it. I can’t- I can’t promise how things will go or if he’ll even be...be happy with me. I’m not exactly...That is I am less than an ideal candidate for the Fire Lord if he wishes to avoid gossip or talk.” Sokka said, dropping his gaze down to their still clasped hands. Mai’s other hand came up to cover the back of Sokka’s hand, encasing him in her warm grasp.

“I appreciate you being open and honest about this. I don’t think we have much to worry about. The children are fine. We can always keep things quiet until you and Zuko are comfortable. Let me bring this up to him and let him know you’re also interested and we’ll go from there. This will make him very happy, and that’s all I want for him.”

_ Yes, _ Sokka thought to himself,  _ But will I be? _


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost - THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU LOVELY PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN COMMENTING. I try really hard to keep up and then I get overwhelmed and shy and it's a terrible anxious circle. 
> 
> Anyway, here is your long awaited chapter. More notes at the end.

Mai led Sokka around the palace, walking together side-by-side as she showed him around. The children would be busy for a time yet, Mai assured him, so they had plenty of time for her to introduce him to the intricacies of the palace. Thus far, Sokka had only been received in the main hall, Mai’s personal parlour, and the gardens. When he shared his interest in books, she quickly took him to the library to show him the royal collection.

“Oh  _ Spirits _ this is beautiful.” He whispered as he looked at the leatherbound collections, the scrolls upon scrolls, atlases and maps, and even a functioning globe set on a gold stand. The globe was half Sokka’s height and equally round, showing the topography of the lands and the borders of the nations. He stepped over to it quickly, running his hands over the bumps and valleys representing mountains and canyons. To his surprise, the globe spun on its axis and he brightened further, grinning as he spun it and tried to stop it with just his finger on certain points.

“Oh, Zuko! What a surprise.” Mai said, though when Sokka’s head snapped around to stare at the Fire Lord who had just entered, she didn’t look terribly surprised. In fact, she looked a bit smug.

“Hello Mai,” Zuko leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek, “What are you doing in here? You rarely come to the-” Zuko’s gaze had scanned the room to see what it was she might be in the library for when his eyes landed on Sokka staring dumbfounded, his hands still grasping the globe that was probably worth more than the entire south pole.

He took his hands back from the object guiltily and tucked them into their opposite sleeves in front of him. He bowed a bit, “Fire Lord Zuko. Forgive me, it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen a library as well kept as this. Fire Lady Mai was just showing it to me while the children are with the General.” He kept his eyes trained on the floor as his face heated up. Of course Mai had an ulterior motive with showing him around the palace. It was  _ Mai _ . Nothing she ever did was purely a kind gesture.

“You don’t...I mean. You’re more than welcome.” Zuko stumbled over his words, which made Sokka look up. The man’s face was flushed, which was just unforgivably handsome. Why on earth did Zuko have to be so damn attractive still? “That is, uh. If you ladies are busy I can-” He gestured towards the door, all pretense of being the stoic Fire Lord was completely forgotten. 

Sokka closed his eyes at the reminder that he was still Navi. He was still not himself. He could never be himself again at this rate. He opened them and looked away from the royal couple.

“No, please stay.” He found himself saying, glancing back at Zuko from the corner of his eye. He pulled the corner of his lips up in a sly smile, “Perhaps if you would show me around the library? I take it we have a shared interest in books?”

Zuko swallowed and nodded, glancing at Mai. Mai smiled just as slyly back. “I believe I need to write a letter to...someone. I’ll be in my parlour if either of you need me.” She waved, before turning and leaving the room.

And for the first time in 7 years, Sokka was alone with Zuko. His stomach filled with butterflies as he realized they were well and truly alone. He flushed and looked at the books around him as he searched for something, anything to say. 

Zuko broke the awkward silence with a sigh. “Mai totally mentioned my crush on you, didn’t she?”

“I...What?”

Zuko cursed softly, “And if she didn’t I just did. I’m useless at this stuff. Why did she leave me alone in here?” He continued sotto voce.

Sokka was struck dumb by the mutterings of the Fire Lord.

“Okay, Zuko, you can do this.” The man in front of him muttered to himself, pulling himself upright as if he weren’t talking out loud to himself in front of someone he was trying to impress. Sokka stifled a giggle behind one of his sleeves. This served to deflate Zuko as quickly as he’d drawn himself up.

“I’m sorry. Go ahead.” Sokka snickered, “You were about to do something?” It was almost like they’d never left the Western Air Temple after rescuing Sokka’s father. Like he’d never gotten pregnant and had to run away and hide. 

“You’re making fun of me.” Zuko nearly whined.

“You’re making it a little easy, Sir Fire Bender.” Sokka chuckled, “How about I start? Oh, Great Fire Lord-”

Said Fire Lord groaned and placed his hand over his face, “See, this is why I never tell Mai anything.” 

“I assure you, your wife has nothing to do with me making fun of you right now. It’s exciting to see someone so unflappable off his game.” Sokka grinned wide, forgetting himself. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’ll stop.”

“Thank you.” Zuko said, dropping his hand from his face and looking genuinely grateful for the reprieve from teasing.

“I believe you were just about to begin wooing me?” Sokka couldn’t help the last little jab at the Fire Lord. At the drop in Zuko’s facial features, Sokka dissolved into peals of laughter, clutching his stomach and fighting the urge to collapse onto the floor.

Zuko couldn’t help himself and he began to laugh as well, the two a respectable distance from one another, in all their fine clothing, giggling helplessly and struggling to stay on their feet.

It was so easy to fall back into these patterns, it was scary. 

“Spirits, I have missed this…” Zuko murmured to himself as the two of them caught their breath. It was clearly meant to have been quiet enough that Sokka couldn’t hear, but he did catch it.

Sokka cleared his throat and smoothed his skirt, the green silk catching his eye and pulling him back to where he was -  _ who _ he was. “I apologize, my Lord. I -”   


“You always apologize. Even after the best laugh I’ve had in almost ten years, you’re sorry.” The Fire Lord had composed himself as well, though he had somehow closed the respectable distance between the two of them and had reached out to touch Sokka’s cheek. “You’ve been doing that since you came here, but you haven’t haven’t done anything wrong.” 

Sokka stilled under the fire bender’s callused and warm palm on his cheek. His eyes glanced up at the Fire Lord’s before dropping back down, his mouth falling open without sound as he tried to respond. 

What was happening? Where had the levity gone? Where had the excitement of the library gone? What was he even doing here, still? Entertaining this fool thought that he could  _ be in a relationship _ with the  _ Fire Lord _ ?

As if sensing Sokka’s apprehension - though far more likely just seeing it written plainly across Sokka’s face - Zuko’s hand fell away from his face. “Ah, I screwed this up didn’t I?” The same hand that had just been on Sokka’s cheek was drawn behind the Fire Lord’s neck as he scrubbed it with embarrassment.

Sokka closed his mouth with a snap, drawing his bottom lip over his lower teeth before attempting to speak again, “No, I’m pretty sure I did. I’m...really out of my depth.”

“That’s...no that’s totally fair. You - I think you’d mentioned it before, how it was just you and the children? And their...their father wasn’t around anymore?” 

Sokka wanted to cry and laugh all at once with the warring emotions and tumultuous butterflies in his stomach. “Yeah...yeah. It’s been a really long time since I tried this with anyone.” He took a deep breath, “It wasn’t...I mean back then we were both with other people and it kind of just happened. I didn’t know I was going to...That is, I’m so glad I have the twins, and I do- I loved their father, but. It wasn’t meant to work out. Right after the war and everything, there was so much to rebuild. And then I was traveling to Ba Sing Se and…” Sokka clamped his mouth shut over the sudden surge of words. No one would ever know of the humiliation he had endured as he ran from everyone he had ever cared about.

Zuko reached out a hand and gently touched Sokka’s arm, “I understand.” He said softly. “I...something similar happened to me just after the war. I mean, okay I didn’t end up with kids, but someone I love very dearly and I made a choice and I think I...I upset him and he disappeared. We haven’t heard from him in years. And it’s my fault but I can’t bring myself to let his family know what I did.” 

Sokka’s stomach dropped. He felt the blood rush from his face and he felt faint. Zuko loved him? Zuko thought it was his fault? But that wasn’t at all true! Sure, without Zuko, Sokka would have never ended up pregnant, but it wasn’t Zuko’s fault that Sokka ran away. It was Sokka’s choice because he couldn’t face his family as a woman. He never contacted them because it was better for them to forget about him. It wasn’t like he’d ever been important to anyone anyway. And then when Jun had...Well, what honor did he have after that?

He found himself holding Zuko’s hand in both of his own, staring down at the calloused and strong fingers, “It wasn’t your fault, Zuko.” He heard someone murmur and it took longer than it should have for him to realize it was his own voice he heard through the panic-cotton in his ears.

Zuko let out a humorless laugh, “I assure you it was. But I appreciate the sentiment. Sokka wouldn’t have gone anywhere if I hadn’t screwed up the entire…”

“No.” Sokka found himself interrupting the Fire Lord, “You did nothing wrong.” He looked up into Zuko’s eyes - they were just as brilliantly amber as they had been 8 years ago, that night as Sokka made the best and worst mistake of his life. “I am sure of it.”

Zuko blinked owlishly as Sokka’s face slowly heated the longer they stared at one another. Silence dragged on and Zuko’s free hand reached once more for Sokka’s face. 

“You are so much like…” Zuko murmured then shook his head. “But Katara would have said if she had a sister.”

At the mention of his sister's name Sokka started slightly, disturbing the touch to his cheek enough to shock both of them a little though no further movement was made by either of them. 

“She only had a brother.” Sokka said softly, breaking eye contact and starting to pull back from Zuko.

“Yeah, she- wait what?”

“So… I suppose this is where I come clean so you can be mad at me.” Sokka took a steadying breath, “It's me. I'm...me.”

An uncomfortable stillness settled in the library. Sokka held his breath waiting for Zuko's response. When he began feeling lightheaded and there was nothing forthcoming from Zuko he looked back up at the Fire Lord's face. 

He immediately wished he hadn't.

There was something closed off and ferocious that Sokka hadn't seen in Zuko's face since the days where the fire bender had chased Aang across the four continents. Immediately Sokka regretted every choice he'd made since he decided to leave the South Pole with Aang and decided that nothing was worth the look on Zuko's face. 

“I… am sorry.” Sokka said and pulled away from Zuko, making a run for the door of the library.

Upon reaching the empty hall, he chose a direction at random and searched for the nearest guard to direct him to General Iroh and his children. With his new direction he hurried off like he was late for the birth of a child and he was the midwife. Only a couple wrong turns and being gently redirected towards the center of a large hedge maze later and he watched his children giggle as General Iroh encouraged Koda to bend the tea from the pot to the three cups in front of each of them. Then Kanna to heat up each cup individually. Stains, wet patches and a fog of steam above the three indicated that they had practiced this the whole time. 

Sokka watched for a moment, unnoticed, before Iroh beckoned him over. 

“Ah, and the beautiful mother of these two very talented benders!” 

Sokka pressed his lips together in a wan smile. “I very much appreciate your hospitality, General Iroh, but unfortunately -"

“Come now, in all my years I would never have thought a fellow veteran of the war would deny audience with me for tea!” Iroh’s eyes glittered like gold pieces in the sunshine. Sokka felt weak and off balance. “Please, Miss Navi-" an odd stress on the name and Sokka knew that Iroh was aware of Sokka's false identity, “- we haven't spoken in years. I believe it's time to catch up.”

“While I would love to sit and talk, General, unfortunately I believe I may have worn out my welcome with the Fire Lord. Besides, it's noodle bowl night and we wouldn't want to miss that, would we?” Sokka forced a relatively genuine appearing smile onto his face as he turned his gaze on the twins. 

Koda and Kanna exchanged a glance between themselves - they had clearly been having a great time with Iroh, but the lure of their favorite food was equally hard to resist. Apparently coming to an agreement between themselves, Kanna responded. Her brother was silent but supported his sisters statements with nods as she spoke. “Can Mister Uncle come with us for dinner?”

Sokka looked at Iroh, whose gaze rested gently and without pressure on Sokka waiting for his response. 

He took a deep breath and halfway through a nod and the beginning of his acquiescence to his children's request, bustling came from the pathway behind Sokka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T BE MAD I PROMISE IT'S OKAY - EVERYONE'S JUST TERRIBLE AT EMOTIONS AND COMMUNICATION AND I'M SORRY.
> 
> All of you were very upset after the past couple chapters and I KNOW WHICH OF YOU WILL BE UPSET AT THIS CHAPTER BUT DON'T BE MAD AT ZUKO BE MAD AT ME. HE'S JUST A DUMB GUY WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT COMMUNICATION OR FEELINGS ARE LIKE.
> 
> <3
> 
> Again, I super appreciate all of you being patient with me while my life just explodes all over the place. I caught up to my revisions and I've had to write all of the past few chapters and ALL of the future ones from scratch with only a vague idea of where I want to go. so...it might take a while especially if the universe continues to fuck me over.


End file.
